


I Just Keep on Keeping On

by ThatFandomObsessedChick



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, BAMF Edwin Jarvis, BAMF Tony Stark, Bottom Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Returns, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Flashbacks, Howard Stark Needs a Hug, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Howard Stark's Good Parenting, Hurt Howard Stark, Hurt Tony Stark, Italian Tony Stark, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Howard Stark, Omega Tony Stark, Parent Tony Stark, Seriously Howard is a great parent, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, Tony Stark-centric, Tony has blue eyes, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-28 04:33:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 21,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5077960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatFandomObsessedChick/pseuds/ThatFandomObsessedChick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Life is cruel, my sweet boy, It takes you and changes you, tries to mold you to it's will, you've got to be stronger than life and mold it to your own will, control in rather than it control you.”</p><p>Life was never just a walk in the park for Tony. His young father tried to make ends meet when catastrophy strikes while trying to keep out of Hydra's slimy fingers. This was how it all begun. This is how Ironman was born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to wait anymore I'm tired of looking for answers  
> Take me some place where there's music and there's laughter  
> Can't worry 'bout what's behind you or what's coming for you further up the road  
> I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong  
> I try to keep on keeping on  
> Yeah I just keep on keeping on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for voting guys! Omega Tony it is! (Seriously happy you chose him, I wanted to write omega Tony anyway)

Howard Stark sat on his beautiful window ledge, sitting on pretty quilts and pillows, all pastle colours and soft. The sunlight gently streaming through wispy lace blinds. It was such a wonderful day, everything was right and everything in it's place, all apart from Howard's heart. Tears fell from Amber eyes. He dropped his head gently on the window as he stroked the ever growing baby bump.

This wasn't meant to be happening, he was meant to be that strong beta inventor that everyone believed him to be. His wife didn't do this to him because obviously she couldn't, she was a woman, not a freak of nature. He had to come back, didn't he. He couldn't just stay dead, just stay as a wonderful memory. He had to come back and ruin everything he had. What he had may have been weak but it was something but now, the stocks were falling, the money was trickling to a stop, his supporters were turning on him, the press were laying into him, all because he wasn't the perfect race they hoped him to be. He really couldn't deal with this, how was he supposed to take care of his baby if he had no more money?

“I'll find a way, baby. I always do.” Howard placed a kiss on his fingers then pressed them against the swell of his stomach. “I wish everything was okay and your daddy's mind hadn't been stolen by Hydra. Maybe then I'd have been happy.”

He felt the slightest of flutters inside him and he knew his child was responding.

“Oh, you're such a cleaver little baby, aren't you, answering to your mama so early, I really do hope you have your papa's eyes. They were beautiful, so sparkly and blue, more blue than the sky on a clear day. He was so handsome, I wish you could meet him!”

Howard suddenly remembered their last meeting and shuddered, protectively wrapping both arms around the bump.

“On second thought, that wouldn't be so good”

Howard turned his head to look out of the window. It was a beautiful day, contrasting so much to Howard's emotions.

 

....

 

God he hated press conferences, they were so long and tiring and they all seemed to ask him the same questions over and over again. He saw the way they all stared at him with disgust in their eyes, they probably thought,

_“How could he have done this? Why couldn't he have just kept his goddamn legs closed?”_

Did they know that they were forced open? They didn't care, did they? All they cared about was money and weapons SI were selling them. Now that they knew Stark Industries CEO was an omega, they claimed that all the weapons were weak. They all hounded him, said he lied to the public for a living so now, who knows what else he's lying about.

His stomach was hurting from all the stress of the questioning and the stress of him stressing that his baby was in danger. His head was throbbing and his back ached. He had no one to help him back at home because Jarvis was away for three month and Maria was a lazy bitch who was too selfish to give a damn about him. She'd rather go out partying and fucking other guys since her own was knocked up. Howard told himself Maria could do want she wanted because she was young and had the rest of her life ahead of her but then came to realize, he was a year younger and so much more reasonable. He hasn't been out of the house unless it was to shop for baby things with Jarvis or to go to shitty board meetings or press conferences. At the tender age of 24, Howard realized that he was way to young to be here and be in this position. He had no parents and no family. He was alone in the world.

“Mr Stark? Are you listening? This is important!”A fat man at the end of the table bellowed.

Howard swallowed his emotions, rubbed his hand that wasn't holding his stomach over his face. He took a deep breath the donned a mask.

“I'm all yours,” Howard replied, teeth glinting in an awful fake smile.

A man in the front row stuck his hand up and started to click his fingers for attention.

“Yes, you in the front” Obadiah called, pointing to the obnoxious man.

“Mr Stark, as we all know, you are the barer for this child, who is the Alpha, or was it just a one night stand?” The man asked after he had stood up.

Howard gaped at the man, appalled that he do have asked such a thing.

“You know, there are so many more ways this could have happened and if you were not so narrow minded you may have guessed. I also would like to point out that my pregnancy is none of your business and I'm not quite sure how you got that information anyway.”

“Mr Stark, it's quite obvious that you are with child judging by your size and scent.” The man continued.

“Sit your ass down, your turn is over.” Howard said with a vicious look on his face, “Next question, let it be relevant unless you want to be thrown out.”

Howard slouched back in his seat, running his left hand over his stomach, trying to settle it.

“Howie, you wanna call it a day? You seem awful tired.” Obadiah whispered, trying to touch Howard's baby bump.

“Fuck off Obadiah, you're only here to answer questions. I decide when I want to call it a day. I'm pregnant, not weak, I'm the same guy I was three months ago.”  Howard snapped quietly, slapping away Obadiah's hand from his stomach.

A young woman raised her hand politely.

“Yes, you ma'am.” Obadiah sighed.

“I'm sorry to ask this Mr Stark but how do you think this situation will effect Stark Industries? Do you think these men will put their foolishness behind them and follow you once again?”

“I doubt it madam, most of these people here think less of me, they think just because I'm an omega that the company is suddenly weak.” Howard got up and addressed the whole conference, “Three months ago, none of you knew the truth. All of you thought that I was this strong, strapping Beta. I am still the same person, with a little addition.” Howard said as he patted his swollen stomach.

“But with your "little addition" how are you going to keep the company running and keep making weapons to keep our country safe?” A random guy at the back yelled.

“Do you think I asked for this? Do you think I wanted my company that I made with my own fucking hands to crash?” Howard yelled, bracing against the desk.

“So are you saying that this baby is the result of rape, Mr Stark?” Another reporter with blonde slicked back hair in a blue suit asked.

Howard stopped, his mouth dropped in shock and he wrapped both his arms around his stomach.

“Who told you that? I never said anything about that!” Howard backed up against his chair, causing it to fall to the ground. Obadiah got up and reached out to steady Howard who had started to shake rather violently.

“Howard, what's wrong? Do you need to leave?”

“Obie, my stomach is cramping, I don't know what's happening!” Howard whispered back to Obadiah discreetly.

Obadiah sighed heavily, running both hands down Howard's arms.

“I'm sorry but Mr Stark is gonna have to all it a day. This has been a stressful week and the poor boy deserves a rest. This conference will resume in a weeks time, thank you all for coming and thanks for your questions. We assure you all that SI is in good hands.” Obadiah told the conference loudly in a slightly too sunny disposition.

The two men walked off the panel, reluctantly followed by the the fat man and the other member of the board. Obadiah took Howard and sat him down somewhere quiet.

“Kid, tell me what's wrong, where are you feeling pain?”

“I dunno, Obie, It's kinda everywhere below my chest. But my stomach hurts the most, it's like heat cramps.” Howard muttered with his head down.

“Crap, we need to get you to hospital quickly,” Obadiah said softly, gently pulling the smaller man up, “When was the last time you had a checkup?”

“I haven't really had one, I only went to find out if I was pregnant and never went back.”

The two men left the building, dodging the press and paparazzi to get to Obadiah's car.

“Let's go then, kid, I'll take you right now.”

“Obie, we can't, I don't have an appointment.” Howard moaned, allowing Obadiah to wrap his arm around his waist, just once.

“Who cares? You're Howard Stark, CEO and founder of Stark Industries and there is the juiciest gossip about you, their going to want to see if it's true.” Obadiah said, cheerfully as he opened the car door for Howard.

“Fuck off, Obie, and just drive me to hospital. I can't deal with their drama, it will literally kill this child.” Howard said, getting into the car.

 

 

...

 

They had been driving for about fifteen minutes when Obie popped the question.

“Is it true?”

“What, Obie?”

“Is it true that that baby is a result of rape?” Howard sighed and rested his head against the car window, closing his eyes tightly.

“I knew him. I met the guy years ago and I kind of, fell in love. Well, I was twelve at the time so maybe I wasn't really in love but I was devastated by his death. I heard he fell off a fast moving train into a ravine, just hours before Cap died. My stepbrother, Henry, was great friends with them. He went crazy with guilt and depression and he eventually died, leaving me to take position of CEO Engineering INC which I then changed to Stark Industries when I took over. Anyway, the guy, who was thrown off the train, three months ago he managed to disable all my alarms and break in. He was meant to kill me but obviously got side tracked.”

 

 

_Three months earlier..._

 

Howard couldn't sleep, something didn't feel right. He felt like, something bad was going to happen. He rolled over and tried to convince himself that he was just being paranoid. Everything was fine, Jarvis was down the corridor if he needed him, everything was-

There was a bang downstairs.

Down the corridor, he heard Jarvis get out of his room, his feet patting stealthily across the wooden flooring.

“Hello? Is anyone he-” Jarvis was cut off, followed by thumps, the sound of someone _falling down the stairs._

Howard whimpered and jumped quietly off his bed, dragging a bat with him. He huddled under the bed, curled up in the farthest corner from the door, his bat in front of him. Tears ran down his face and he was shaking violently. He could smell himself now, he reeked of fear and the heavy footsteps and the overbearing smell of sexually aroused Alpha wasn't helping at all. His door was smashed open and he had to clasp his hand over his mouth to stop himself from screaming. Wood splintered and shot underneath the bed, littering Howard's skin with tiny cuts. He saw big black boots thump to the corner of the bed he was hiding under and they stopped. A deep sniff sounded across the room, like a predator sniffing for it's prey.

Howard knew that scent, under all the chemicals, he could smell home.

A black gloved arm shot out and dragged him by the ankle out of his hiding place. Howard screamed dropped his bat and tried to get away from his attacker. He masked man picked him and slam dunked him onto his bed, drew a knife and-

Just stopped. The man tilted his head sideways, pulled off his glove and ran his fingers through the tears on Howard's face then lick his fingers. He grabbed both of Howard's wrists with his metal one and pinned them down over his head with unbelievable power. He lowered himself between Howard's legs. His flesh hand ripped open Howard's oversized button up, his hand ventured south then suddenly ripped open Howard's underwear.

“Stop, stop! Get off me!” Howard screamed, kicking both his legs in a feeble attempt at escape.

The man simply pressed both knees down on Howard's thighs from moving, not the most comfortable of positions. The man reached up and removed his face mask, drawing a sharp breath from Howard.

“Bucky?”

Cold blue eyes glared down at him.

What was Bucky opened his fly then clamped a hand over Howard's mouth.

It hurt. It hurt so much, both mentally and physically. Someone who was once your friend, who once had your back could be taken and morphed into a totally different person, something disgusting and evil, a monster.

The man with the silver arm pulled out, tucked himself back in and pulled out a gun. Howard lay quivering beneath him, thighs bruised and face smarting from the blows that were delivered when he didn't open his mouth.

“Bucky, If you're in there, listen to me,”

The man with the silver arm cocked the gun.

“Jimmy! Please, I know you're in there otherwise you wouldn't have stalled. Please don't do this, I know you, you were my best friend back in the war, I told you I loved you and you laughed, you said I was too young for love but I'd always come back and tell you that when I grew up and you left the war, we'd get bonded and have a little baby together and live in a pretty white house with a picket fence. You'd always tell me "one day" and I believed you.” Howard said between sobs, “Maybe if you let me live, I'll make you better again.”

“I don't need you.”

His arm extended, the mouth of the gun rested on Howard's forehead. The gun was flipped as quick as lightning and the butt of the gun made contact with Howard's temple.

When he woke up, it was morning, he was gone.

Six weeks later, Howard started to throw up.

...

“Shit.”

“Yeah, shit.”

“Why didn't you tell me earlier, Howie?”

“Because it's not really your business, Obadiah.”

“Why did you just tell me then?”

“I needed to get it off my chest.”

“I'm really sorry, Howard.”

“That's nice, you can't really do anything about it now.”

Howard placed a hand on his stomach, propped up his chin with the other and watched the world fly by through the passenger window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is this chapter done! Wayyy! Let me know if you guys want another, was it alright? Don't worry guys the plot will thicken, all is cool.


	2. Chapter 2

It was winter now, Howard was due to be a daddy in two months. He was surprisingly excited for the birth of his new baby, despite the circumstances of how the baby was conceived and how much the media was hounding him. Somehow, the whole of North America knew that he was pregnant and he had been raped and that was rather annoying, it seemed he didn't have a smidge of privacy left.

Howard was sitting on a swinging chair in his back garden, he was wearing a green Parker lined with generous amounts of fur both inside and around the hood which he was wearing down. He was wearing a thick knitted, cream hat with cat ears on it, matching mittens and a red, silver and black checkered scarf. He had both hands resting on his stomach. Apparently, his stomach was small for being seven months along but the doctors said the unborn child would be fine just a bit on the small side. Howard didn't mind though, small was cute.

Howard heard the ringing of a bike bell and chirpy voice of the village boy going through, selling milk or some shit. Howard was very fond of the boy but he never really gave two shits about what he was selling.

“Hey, Howard! You want to buy-” Harvey yelled gleefully, hopping off his bike.

“No, Harvey but I could do with a bit of company, Jarvis isn't due home until an hour or so,” Howard brushed the snow off the neighboring seat then patted it fondly, “come on, Harvey, sit!”

Harvey's face lit up like a Christmas tree and he ran forward and plonked himself down on the seat. The young boy pushed up his blue wooly hat to grin up at Howard, his blonde hair poking through from under his hat. The kid was a kind of wanted pain in Howard's ass but he did make his stress filled life slightly more bearable. The boy was in love with him, no I mean it, the kid was literally in love with Howard, just like now Howard was in love with Bucky at the age of twelve. He told the poor kid there was no chance but the poor boy always said he'd wait.

The two sat in silence for a while, both taking in the wintery wonderland that surrounded them. Howard staring off into space while little Harvey had his eyes glued to the beautiful young omega. Snowflakes where clinging to Howard's eyelashes, contrasting to his dark eyes, a contented little smile. Harvey placed his blue mitten clad hand over Howard's and stared up at the older man, completely starstruck.

“Kid, you need a girlfriend or a boyfriend.” Howard laughed and pulled Harvey in for a cuddle.

“No I don't, I've got you.” Harvey muttered against Howard's chest.

“Harvey, I'm more than ten years older that you and besides, your more of a little brother to me.”

“Whatever, I'll wait.”

“Harvey, waiting ten years won't change anything, yes you'll be legal but I'll be 35 and I really would feel weird going out with a kid.”

“So, my friends parents are ten years apart and they are happy.”

“Yeah, but who's older, the Alpha or the omega, the man or woman?”

Harvey rolled his blue eyes and huffed.

“The Alpha is older but why the hell does that matter? What can't the omega or girl be older?”

Howard sighed softly and pushed his wooly hat further back, a few locks of his brown hair flying loose. The boys parents should really be explaining Alpha and omega dynamics to him.

“Right, lots of omegas, such as myself like to have an alpha to protect them and their children,” Howard explained, patting his baby bump at the "children part", “The Alpha is older by a few years just so he has more experience so therefore, the omega instinctively chooses the older Alpha.”

Harvey wrinkled his nose at that and crossed his arms over his chest. “That's stupid, I might have twice as much experience as the older guy, why would you choose him?”

“I don't know, love. Life is just a bit weird sometimes.” Howard replied softly, pulling Harvey into his side to keep him warm, you know, bearers instinct.

The two fell into a relaxing silence once again, Harvey tracing soft and gentle patterns onto Howard's stomach. Harvey was the only one –bar Jarvis– actually allowed to touch Howard's stomach. The boy's touch was actually soothing and welcome while he felt like everyone else was trying to hurt him or his baby.

“Where's Pea's dad?”

“We don't talk about him, Harvey.”

 

...

 

“Jarv,” Howard asked, dipping a finger into the frosting of a cake Jarvis was making.

“Hello,” Jarvis replied, slapping away Howard's petite but greedy fingers.

“Have you ever gone through this? You know, had a kid?” Asked Howard, sucking the frosting from a lucky finger.

“Yeah, I have actually but I don't want to tell you about it.”

“Why not, Eddie?”

“Because it's a bloody sad story and I don't want to scare you.” Jarvis replied, setting down the piping bag and sitting on the counter beside Howard.

“Eddie, you know I can take anything and a problem shared is a problem halved.” Howard said softly, shuffling up closer to Jarvis.

“I don't like talking about it and it's not really a problem, you're using the wrong saying.”

“That's okay, you don't have to do what makes you uncomfortable.”

“Shut up, I'm telling you my story.” Jarvis stated simply. He could practically hear the eye roll coming from Howard as he took his apron off and folded neatly over his lap.

The slender Butler sat on the counter top and folded his legs, tugging a piece of fluff from his fluffy Christmas socks.

“I was about seventeen when it happened, I was a young man and like most men, I wanted to join the army. My best buddy, Peter, who was an alpha convinced me to join and he filled in his application form with me. He obviously got in and originally so did I until they carried out the physical and I was turned down because I'm an omega. As you know, I'm a tough cookie and I fought them to get in, I literally fought them. They let me in but forced me to take suppressants and wear specially padded clothes to hide my curves and shit like that. Obviously because I'm a stubborn ass hole I refused and demanded they let me stay off suppressants because they make me sick. They were going to throw me out but Peter vouched for me. They reluctantly let me in and sent me straight off to a training camp with Peter. We were worked hard and I was fine until the last month before deployment. I had irregular heats and I thought I was going to be fine for a while because I had no symptoms at all. I was hit with the heat like a tonne of bricks three weeks before deployment and I woke up drenched in gross stuff, right in the middle of the cabin, right beside Peter who was about to go into a rut. We spent the three days of my heat in a ratty toilet with towels rolled up and stuffed under the cracks in the doors. Three weeks later we were sent off to Germany. It was a horrible fight, so many young men and boys died.”

Jarvis looked down at Howard and gave him a tiny smile when he saw his expression. Howard laid his head on Jarvis' knee and the older man ran his hand over his head in an endearing manor.

“I remember being sick every morning and shooting right after. All the other boys thought I had contracted some form of sickness but after realising the constant swelling of my stomach, they found out that I was pregnant. They were mad but more scared for the life of the innocent growing inside me at the worst time possible. They all became over protective over me and never let me help so I started to feel like dead weight. One night, when Peter was trying to cross no man's land, I went and made the most stupid decision of mine and my child's life. I crossed with him. I don't really know how I crossed because my stomach was too large to lay on but I managed to get at least half way before they opened fire. Peter waved a white handkerchief, surrendering to save me and his child that he never really meant to have. We were taken and Peter was interrogated for information and intelligence. Peter was really tough and stubborn so when they hurt him, he wouldn't ever talk. After someone hit me for speaking out of turn and Peter responded, badly. Our captors played that to their advantage. They hurt me and Peter spoke. He told secrets and plans to keep me and our child alive. They promised that they'd let us go once Peter told them all that he knew but they lied. They killed Peter right in front of me,”

Jarvis stopped when he felt sweater sleeves come in contact with his cheeks. He looked up from his lap to see Howard sitting in front of him, legs folded and drying his cheeks that he never knew were wet. He looked into Howard's big worried brown eyes and gave a sad little smile followed by a sniffle.

“You don't have to tell me more if you don't want to.” Howard whispered, keeping his sweater paws on Jarvis' face.

“I know, kiddo,” Jarvis replied softly and quietly, gently removing Howard's hands and holding them in his own.

Jarvis took a deep breath and carried on telling his story.

“It was horrible, really horrible. The man grabbed my head and forced me to look at his gutted body and laughed when I screamed in terror. He stripped me did what he wanted then left me all alone. If I didn't have enough on my plate, my kid decided to cause me problems. I went into labor on the floor, sitting in Peter's blood. I don't know how it happened because I was six months pregnant and that kid wasn't nearly ready but, that's life I guess. I was young, terrified and inexperienced and I didn't know what to. I tried to be quite but pushing out a kid when it's not actually ready is probably the most painful thing that could happen to anyone. After about an hour, I stopped because I was growing dizzy from the blood I was pumping out of my body and the kid wasn't making a move. I was still feeling these horrible contractions so I knew I had to get the baby out. I pulled the blade Peter had been killed with out of his stomach and cut my stomach open. I pulled out the tiniest baby I'd ever seen with my own two eyes. He was the size of both my hands and he was alive and kicking and he was the most beautiful thing I'd set my eyes on. I ripped up my shirt and wrapped my stomach to stop myself from losing much more blood. I stopped up the other problem with the remainder of my shirt and wrapped my tiny baby in my tattered jacket. I had to keep breathing for him because he wasn't strong enough to breath by himself. I hadn't been fed in a day so I didn't have any milk for him. I was so tired but I had to get out of there if I wanted my baby to survive. I was in a tent so all I had to do was cut open the back of It, keep quiet so I wasn't suspected and leg it. I don't know how I did it, I shouldn't have survived but I did. I escaped that day, I snuck past the lookouts on the back and second trenches. I was intercepted by a veteran on the front trench,”

_“Where you think you are going?”_

_“I-I need to go back, I have to get help,”_

_“You are prisoner of war and you rebel. The penalty is death.”_

_“Please, you don't understand, I have a baby, he's sick.”_

_“We all have children.”_

_“No, I mean he's here, with me.”_

_Shaking, Ed pulled back the fabric of the thin and tattered jacket, revealing a tiny purplish baby who was wheezing for air, too weak to cry. The man's face dropped and sorrow filled his eyes. He stripped his coat off and draped it around the shaking boy and his undersized baby._

_“How old you, little one?”_

_“Seventeen, Sir.”_

_The man sighed._

_“You are too young for this suffering.”_

_A tear fell from grey eyes then those eyes closed and Ed teetered forward. He was collected into strong arms and lifted, head nestled between a shoulder and chest. The man pulled out a hand held white flag and climbed out onto now man's land. Voices of his comrades yelled for him to return to safety but all calls were ignored. There man held one arm aloft, the white flag blowing in the wind, the other arm was wrapped around the boy and his child. He climbed over and through barbed wire, keeping the boy protected as he pushed through. He heard the voices of the English yelling "don't shoot!" and "hold your fire!"_

_A young commander greeted him, no weapons._

_“Why have you come in surrender, kind sir?” The man asked confidently._

_“I am returning one of your own. The life of innocent child is valued and must be saved. I come in peace.”_

_“That's Jarv!” a young voice remarked._

_“Thank you...thank you so much. How can we ever repay you?”_

_“There is no repay. The only payment is the end of suffering and war. This battle may end but war will never, therefore, there is no repay. Keep boy and his child safe and away from this evil.”_

_The German veteran handed the boy over, turned away and didn't look back._

“I owe that man my life. Without him, I would have never made it. My baby, Joey, lost his life that night but I didn't, thanks to a man who was called a monster because he was from another country in the same damn word we all live in, A man that would have been mindlessly killed by us.” Jarvis tore his eyes away from Howard's, drying his tears once again.

“It was a fucking horrible day that I'll never forget.” Jarvis said bitterly.

Howard made a small sob noise and flung his arms around his best friend's shoulders. Jarvis slowly wrapped his arms around Howard's back and hid his face in his shoulder.

“Jarvis, how is the world so cruel? If there ever was a God, why would he let that happen to you, to anyone?”Howard sobbed, voice watery.

“I don't think there is a God but I think there are heroes and angels and that man who saved me that night was one of them.” Jarvis replied, gently running both hands over a hiccupping Howard's back.

Jarvis broke the hug and held Howard at arms length.

“You want some cake?”

“Yeah,” Howard replied, rubbing one eye with a sweater paw.

“Do you want to watch TV also?”

“Yeah,” Jarvis hopped off the table and picked the shorter man off after him then went to cut the cake.

“Can we watch Christmas movies?”

“Why the hell not?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, new chapter, as promised. I hope you liked it and remember to keep voting for baby Tony's gender! Love you all XXX.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Childbirth is a bitch.

This was the first time in his whole experience he actually thought, I didn't ask for this. He was going to be fine. The doctor had said so. His baby was due to be born in February. Why the fuck was he waking up in the middle of the night with the bed around him wet? He actually prayed to God that he'd pissed himself in his sleep but apparently God didn't like him and he was sure of that fact when the contractions descended on him like fire and damn brimstone.

It actually hurt so bad that he started to scream at some point, he couldn't pinpoint exactly when screams were sent ripping out of his throat but he remembers Jarvis tearing into his room like a bat from hell, pacing and flapping his hands frantically. He remembers Jarvis running a soothing hand over his sweaty forehead then removing it to grab a phone and call an ambulance. A frantic voice spoke, wobbling with fear and panic. Howard guessed that Jarvis was so afraid because he had is own experience with premature birth and his one ended badly.

“Don't panic, please don't panic, I can't do this I can't, please don't make me do this.” Jarvis whispered as he smoothed a hand over Howard's face after he'd placed the phone on the desk, on speaker. Howard was pretty epic and he had already created a speaker phone.

“You're going to be fine, you have to be.”

“Whats wrong with him? He's not due yet!” Howard shreaked in panic once the underwater tunnel effect wore off.

Jarvis almost sobbed in relief when Howard started responding. “I think he's fine, just wanted out early. The ambulance is on it's way from that private hospital so you can keep this under wraps if you want and they said you need to keep calm or the baby's going to go into distress.”

“It hurts, Eddie!” Howard sobbed.

Jarvis sat on the edge of the bed beside Howard and held his hand.

“Darling, I know, I know it hurts but you just have to breath. Hold my hand and breathe with me.”

Jarvis took in a deep breath, loud enough for Howard to follow. Howard tensed and screamed in pain.

“Focus on me, Howie, just hold on until the ambulance gets here.”

“I can't do it, I can't breath!”

“Calm, Howie, you panicking won't help you or your baby.” Jarvis smoothed, running a hand over Howard's stomach which seemed to soothe the young omega,

_***Speaks in Italian*, “Did I ever tell you about the time my brother and I ruined the Christmas fair singlehandedly?”** _

Howard shook his head vigorously as he trembled in pain, drenched in sweat.

_**“Well, we were both very excited for Christmas, as you do, and our little village always held a fair to celebrate together, you'd always bring food to share with everyone and we'd all decorate the village together. My brother, Charlie was two years older than me so I would always follow him around and think everything he did was amazing. He was thirteen and I was eleven and we were sent by our mother to help put up some extra decorations in our town plaza.”** _

Howard arched up and cried out in pain. Jarvis looked between Howard's legs to see dark blood seeping through his white fluffy pajama bottoms.

“Shit,” Jarvis whispered to himself, “How do you feel?”

“It's pushing out of me! What should I do?” Howard screamed in terror.

Jarvis put the phone to his ear and conversed shortly with the emergency assistant. “Five minutes, Gorgeous, just hold on and if you're feeling like that baby is coming out, you push, don't hold back.”

Jarvis propped the sobbing omega against a pile of pillows and stripped him of his soggy trousers and top, then replaced them by a hugely oversized t-shirt. Jarvis took a deep breath and held his best friend's hand, letting the younger squeeze his hand tightly when the painful contractions hit.

_**“I was on a ladder, hooking the decorations onto a shop and my brother was holding the ladder to prevent me from falling. We were perfectly fine until Gabriel made and entrance. Gabriel was this really hot teen alpha and everyone, including myself and my brother literally threw themselves at him. So as you know, Charlie was meant to be holding the ladder but as soon as he set eyes on Gabriel, he was gone.”** _

...

_“Eddie, Eddie! Look! It's Gabriel,” Charlie hissed up to Ed._

_Ed whirled around on his ladder and would have fallen if Charlie wasn't there._

_“Eddie, stay here, I'm gonna go talk to him,”_

_“Hey? Who gave you the right to go talk to him rather than me?” Ed growled in a whisper._

_“I did because I'm older than you and I'm prettier than you!”_

_“As if, and besides, Gabriel might like younger omegas rather than ugly self centered old ones.” Ed contradicted while he tried to rush down the ladder._

_“You bitch! You're not going anywhere, Gabriel is mine!” Charlie screamed, shaking the ladder in anger which was probably was the wrong idea as it sent little Ed flying off._

_To prevent himself landing on the concrete he grabbed some Christmas lights to break his fall and in the process, most of them smashed and dislodged from their hooks. Ed shrieked as he swung up, airborne for a moment before gravity dropped him into the gigantic tree that was almost finished being decorated. In fact, the star at the top of the Christmas tree was being lowered when a screaming Ed flew through the outer branches and bodily hit the tree trunk. At first, all was good but the tree started to teeter and... Ed watched._

_It was all in slow motion, he was glued to where he sat and he watched the tree fall, taking out some other people on ladders and most of the pretty Christmas stalls._

_Ed stood up and surveyed the mess he'd just created. Christmas was in two weeks and he and his brother had just destroyed a months worth of work. He looked around. Everyone, including Gabriel was glaring at the omega brothers. The siblings looked at each other, eyes wide with shock._

_“Oh shit.”_

...

Jarvis was pacing back and forth in the maternity ward waiting room. Howard had gone into labour seventeen hours ago and he hasn't heard anything from anyone. He didn't know if his best friend was okay, if the baby was okay, if one was hurt or worse. His thoughts were interrupt by the sound of high heels and expensive penny loafers clacking against the floor. Maria and Obadiah entered, ruffled in appearance and rather flushed and flustered.

“We came as quickly as we could,” Obadiah stated breathlessly.

“Yes, because sixteen hours late is as fast as you could get here.”

“We're so sorry, what's happened?”

“Well if you weren't so busy banging you'd know that the baby is a month and a half premature.”

“That little shit deserves to die, he was born of sin, it should have been aborted when he was just seed inside that boy.” Maria twittered as she took out a mirror and lipstick to reapply the red that had been spread across her face when she'd obviously been lip locking with Obadiah.

“You better keep your mouth shut, I'm not afraid to hit a woman.” Jarvis snapped.

“Your just an abomination like that whore who you care so much about. If-”

The nurse was Maria's saving grace.

“Mr Edwin Jarvis, Mr Stark whishes to see you.” Jarvis glared at a smug looking Maria then turned away, following the confused nurse out. Jarvis took deep relaxing breath then braced himself for what he was about to see once he walked through those double doors.

 

 

...

 

 

“He's beautiful, isn't he?” Howard slurred, gently holding his baby and running a finger over the tiny wrinkled forehead.

“He is a glorious sight to behold.” Jarvis chuckled from his perch at the edge of Howard's bed.

“He's my little baby, my miracle. Created from sin, born a dream.” Howard whispered lovingly, leaning down to kiss the baby's head.

“Have you named him yet, dear? You can't just refer to him as baby for the rest of his life.”

Howard pulled a drowsy face.

“No, I don't know what to call him so on his little name tag it says Baby Stark, how cute is that?” Howard added with a giggle.

“Um, Howie, are you okay?”

“No, that damn pain medication is messing with my head and I can't think straight.”

“Take it easy, Howie, go to sleep if you need to, Baby will be fine without you watching over him every second.”

“What if he dies again?” Howard's eyes widened and tears pooled within big brown orbs. 

“What do you mean?”

“He wasn't breathing and they had to do baby CPR on him and I was terrified.”

“I'll watch over him, like a guardian angel, he'll be safe as long as I'm here.”

“Forever?”

“Forever.”

“Promise?”

“With all my heart.”

“Mr Stark, we need to take him back to the incubator now.” The young midwife came in to say, standing above the bed to retrieve the baby.

“You promise, Jarv?”

“Sleep, Howard.” Jarvis order with a warm smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guy I'm so sorry I took so long to update and I'm also really really sorry it's such a short kinda crappy chapter. I have writers block but the really annoying thing is that I know how I want this story to end but I also have so many ideas for the middle but this first part is really bugging me out so I may just skip out Tony's child life, let me know what you want, it's your story after all.


	4. Chapter 4

Howard looked down at his little miracle. He was more than he could have ever imagined.He was perfect, absolutely perfect. He was awfully tiny but he was a wonder from his silky head of brown hair to his tiny adorable toes to his big, beautiful icy blue eyes, as clear as water, as cold as a winter's breeze but full of creation and wonder. This little baby would be something special, something that the world would have never seen before. He was named Antonio, meaning highly praiseworthy. Although the boy was so wonderful, there was always one thing that would give Howard goosebumps when he looked at him. His eyes. His eyes were the exact copy of Bucky's and he didn't know how to feel about that. Would Tony be like Bucky, that loving, caring beta he once knew or that cold and blank genetically altered alpha, the Winter Soldier. All he knew was that he loved that child, no matter the circumstances.

He laid in his bed beside his baby, watching the six month old's tiny chest rise and fall, he watched tiny fingers curl on reflex, toes twitch and a toothless mouth open up in a silent yawn. Howard breathed a laugh when his baby made a soft noise and reached up with a pudgy hand. Howard kissed the baby's tiny right hand, his forehead, his cheek and finally his nose.

“I love you, you're my everything,”

 

...

 

For such a young child, his mind was already advanced. He could recite his times tables up to five by heart at the age of two. He was already living up to his name definition. He was already stunning and he was attracting attention for all around. The downside of all that was that the paparazzi couldn't get enough of Howard and his child.

“Mr Stark, over here!”

“Mr Stark, this way please!”

“Howard! Howard! Look this way!”

“Can we get the baby in as well?”

Howard smiled, all plastic, all teeth, all vicious. He was standing outside a little coffee shop at a random location in New York with his baby, his visit unannounced but a squadron of paparazzi still managed to track him down and steal quick snapshots of him and his very confused and rather dazed two year old. Howard was reaching the end of his tether with these damn paparazzi, they blocking his way to his car. He had an armful of sleepy annoyed baby and he was not tolerating a bunch paparazzi with a goal get in the way of his baby's bed time.

“Right, can you all move please? I have a life I need to get back to.” Howard said, raising his voice slightly but not decreasing the syrupy sweetness of his tone. Tony added a little annoyed sound to back up his mother's words.

The paparazzi acted like they couldn't hear a thing although he basically shouted at them. Howard was beyond pissed off now even his child who was two years old understood that Howard was not playing games and retreated into his furry little jacket. Howard levelled the first row of paparazzi with a piercing glare and he started to hear a few less camera shots. After trying to visually persuade the paparazzi to piss off he got fed up when they didn't react. He whispered sorry to Tony, covered his ears and took in a deep breath.

“FUCK OFF!” Howard shouted, loudly, clearly and dangerously.

All camera shutters stopped suddenly and Howard's lips turned up in a little victory grin. He uncovered his child's ears and bounced down the stairs, as if he'd just won a prize.

“Well that went well, didn't it Tonio?” He asked his baby once they'd rounded the corner.

Tony babbled a jumble of nonsense and fist pumped his mother when he put up his fist.

“Ah, that's my boy.” Howard giggled as they got into the car.

...

Tony started to notice things changing after his sixth birthday. His mother stopped going to work in the morning and started to go at night. When Tony asked about it, Howard simply claimed that he changed his work time table to spend more time with him. Tony knew that was rubbish because in the day, Howard would mope around, be plastic or cry in his room. When he saw Tony, he'd spring on an enthusiastic smile that never reached his eyes. When he came home in the early morning, Jarvis was always there with a first aid kit at the ready. Tony would watch from behind a wall, face being shadowed, preventing himself from being discovered.

“Howard, you have to quit that job, I can work all the money from my job and it'll support us fine.” Jarvis soothed as he wiped the blood off Howard's lower lip which was swelling drastically. He younger omega was sitting on a wooden chair in the kitchen.

“Jarv, you need that money, you worked for it so it's yours. Tonio is a child and you know how expensive childhood is. I want Tonio to have a good childhood, I don't want him to notice what happened to the company.” Howard replied softly, wincing as he rotated his hips, in a useless attempt to get comfortable.

“When are you going to tell him? When is he going to realise his mother was lying to him his whole life? These people are abusing you night after night. You may be extremely expensive but that won't stop people from doing this to you again and again. If you tell Tony, he'll understand and you won't have to get beaten and raped every night!”

Howard hissed and drew back from Jarvis, choking back a scream when he put pressure on a particularly sore place.

Jarvis huffed and pulled Howard up, wiping up the blood that Howard left behind.

“Howie, I'm only telling you this because I care about you. Why don't you go and have a shower, don't scrub yourself until you bleed and I'll figure everything out.”

Howard closed his tired eyes, nodded and left to go up the stairs. Tony's eyes widened in fear of being caught. He darted away as if running on air, leaving no sound as a trace of his presents. Tony ran to his room and lay in his bed. He tried to get to sleep but his mother and Jarvis' conversation was looping in his head. Why would his mother sacrifice his own safety just so Tony could have a good life? Howard was upset and hurting but he still ignored his own well being to make Tony have a better life. If that wasn't selflessness then Tony didn't know what was.

Tony didn't know how long he was laying there, wide awake and wondering but footsteps outside his room jolted him from his trance and he scrambled into his typical sleeping position and closed his eyes. The room door opened and he heard uneven but soft footsteps approach his bedside, it sounded almost as if the person was hurt. He felt a soft,cool but shaky hand smooth over his hair, his mother's soft lyrical voice wash over him like a sweet, soft, summers breeze.

“I'm so sorry Antonio, my bambino. You're too little to understand why everything is the way it is but I'm trying, God knows I'm trying. I can't let you grow up in the way I did.” Howard planted a soft kiss along with a tear on Tony's rosy cheek.

Tony felt tears prick at his eyelids, the suffocating thick sorrow in him mother's voice made him feel awful inside and all he wanted was to make his mother better.

Howard sung his baby a lullaby in Italian. It was a mournful song but the sound of Howard's beautiful voice could never fail to soothe Tony.

Tony would do all he could to help his mother, that was a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, sorry it's so short but I just had a brilliant idea for another fan fiction and I'm so excited about it. I'll put that up soon. See ya! Thanks for all your comments and support I'll post the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	5. Chapter 5

Howard was baking when Tony came home from school with Jarvis. The smell of delightful home baking shouldn't send a wave of hysteria and panic through you but when you associate that smell with a untellable horror, you would feel constipated with fear also. Howard had a stress baking problem and he usually baked the best tasting muffins the world had ever seen when in tears. Tony would sometimes come home to a counter full of intricate baked goods and a tearful flower dusted Howard, trying to munch on a muffin while sobbing.

Tony grimaced and slowly made his way into the kitchen and dropped his bag in horror when his eyes landed on the horrifying sight in the kitchen. Howard was buzzing around the kitchen, dusting cute little cakes with icing sugar, drizzling lemon drizzle onto a lemon loaf and filling a tray of cannolis with cream. The worst part was not that Howard wasn't making his typical comfort baked goods, muffins, it was the fact that Howard had a smile on his face.

Howard was happy.

Howard was baking without a crisis.

Tony made a little squeak noise and drew Howard's attention. He fell to his knees and started to sob, loudly. This was new. He could handle Howard's problems usually but if he was trying to cover them up with superficial happiness, he couldn't handle it. That was next level shit.

“Oh, baby! What's wrong? Were you hurt in school, are you ill?” Howard asked softly, dropping his piping bag and gathering Tony into his arms.

“Your pretending to be happy and that means everything is really bad!” Tony cried into Howard's shoulder.

Howard giggled then outright laughed, laughed. That stopped Tony in his tracks. The laugh sounded genuine so he clumsily pushed back his feathery, curly, bangs and tipped his head back and looked at Howard's delighted face with a look of confusion written all over his own cute face.

“I am happy, silly billy, I just got a job offer and it's going to change our lives.”

Howard pulled Tony up and sat him on a chair then shoved a cannoli into his hands.

“So, a man I worked for is offering me a full time job and your school and everything would be paid for. All we have to do is move. He's giving us a month to think it over but if we decide quicker, he'll let us move in.”

“What's he like?” Tony asked, crossing his legs and leaning as he stuffed the entire cannoli into his mouth.

“You little pig, chew your food,” Howard said in Italian.

Tony stuck his tongue out at Howard, showing his chewed up cannoli to a disgusted Howard. Howard rolled his eyes fondly but continued.

“He's nice and tall and he has blonde hair and really nice blue eyes” Tony raised an eyebrow at that statement, "but yours are way more beautiful." Tony grinned and reached out for another cannoli.

“How old is he cos if he's old then I don't want him with us.” Tony chirped as he stuffed his second cannoli into his mouth.

“Chew, baby, and he is thirty five.” Howard asked as he moved a lock of curly hair from Tony's eyes.

"Whatever, if you're happy with him and he's nice then it's fine."

Howard gave Tony an affectionate smile. "You know I'm never happy unless you're happy."

"Mama, pretending to be happy for me doesn't really make you happy." Tony said softly.

Howard's smile fell but picked up again slightly, full of sincerity and love. "Well, you make my days a little more bearable, my bambino." 

Tony blushed and lowered his head self consciously.

“I love you, mama,” Tony mumbled and he pushed his face into his mother's chest, breathing in his sweet relaxing scent that smelled like home.

“I love you more, Antonio my love.” Howard whispered into Tony's dark curls and he wrapped his arms around his dear child.

Tony made a contented sound and returned the warm embrace.

....

 

So, Howard and Tony moved into the house of the great Gregory Stone along with his eldest child, Tiberius and the twins, Marco and Margo, otherwise known as Mark and Marg. They were all very nice when Howard and Tony moved in, a little too nice. They gave the two a grand house tour, talked to them politely and even let Tony pick his own room in the mansion of thirty rooms.

“We'll give you two a moment and when it's time for diner, we'll call you down,” Gregory said with a large smile, “Come along, ” He chirped at his three falsely smiling children.

“See you momentarily.” Tiberius said with a slightly creepy, unnatural smile.

The door closed and Tony dropped his bags and collapsed onto his new bed.

“They're really weird, they are too nice for normal people.” Tony complained quietly, just incase they were outside the door.

“Maybe they're just trying to be nice and overcompensating a little too much.” Howard suggested.

“No, something's up.” The eight year old argued.

“I'm not sure, maybe you're just reading into it too much but maybe you're right,” Howard replied, smoothing a hand over Tony's head, “Lets pack away your stuff until they call us for dinner.”

The two unpacked in a comfortable silence, putting away all Tony's belongings into separate draws and closets. They were disrupted by a loud knocking at the door. Howard scurried over to the door and opened it, revealing one of the Stone twins. Tony didn't know which twin it was because they both had a very unisex face and long blonde hair. Tony grasped that it was the female twin when she grabbed her waist long braid and pulled it over her shoulder, acting a little fake and girly in front of the beautiful omega, Howard.

“Father told me to come fetch you for supper.” The young girl squeaked in her annoying syrupy sweet voice.

“Thank you,” Howard replied politely.

She nodded eagerly and stepped back from the door. Howard reached a hand out to Tony for him to take which he did. Howard and Tony followed Margo through the massive house to the hall like dining room. Tony gasped as he entered the room. It was freezing to start and it the floor was all old fashioned flag stone. The walls were also stones but they had more of a flat uniform look to them. The table had no sweet lacy tablecloth like Tony's old house but it was just a pure wood table with black plates atop it. Tony's hand was released at some point and he bumped into some very long legs. He looked up to find Gregory Stone smiling down at him.

“Hello there, little Antonio, do you mind?” Gregory asked as he outstretched his arms to pick Tony up.

Tony shook his head, eyes wide and slightly afraid he'd offend Gregory if he responded negatively to the offer. He let Gregory pick him off the ground and settle him on his hip, then Tony secured himself on Gregory by wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around Gregory's torso. Gregory smiled softly at Tony and Tony smiled nervously back.

“Gosh, you're a lot more adorable on this level, I've never seen someone as beautiful as you in all my years,” Gregory pinched Tony's cheek then turned to Howard, “You've done well on this one, he's got the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen.”

“Thank you, but you'll have credit his gorgeous eyes to his father.” Howard replied, as he took his seat beside Gregory's empty one.

“Did his father leave you? What a shame it would be if he did.”

“No, he died.”

A horrible silence rang over the hall.

“That is a shame, I'm sure he was a good man.” Gregory sighed, sitting down with Tony still in his arms.

“He was.” Howard muttered to himself.

Gregory cleared his throat and clapped his hands loudly and servants poured out of the double doors with plates of food and cutlery.

Gregory turned to Tony, “Well, my dear, I cannot bring myself to put you down so you'll be eating with me,” He turned to his three children, “Well, do any of you have anything to share?”

Tiberius started on a long tyrant about what he learned in physics earlier that day in school, the twins questioned everyone on the table about strange little things and Gregory bounced a sleepy Tony on his knee. The poor little boy had had a stressful day and dinner was too much a lethargic ordeal for him to put any effort into it. Tony was half asleep when he realised he didn't feel safe in this man's arm so he sleepily called for his mother, outstretching his arms to his position.

“I see your dear little child had grown tired of me, you can have him back before I cause him any further distress.” Gregory said with what he thought looked like a genuine smile.

Howard reached over to his child who immediately latched onto him and snuggled up to him in a way that a child would feel safest in the arms of it's parent. Gregory suppressed a frown and the female twin rolled her eyes at the actions of the newest members of their family. Howard saw all this but he didn't care. All he cared about was his baby boy and his safety. Howard cradled the small boy his his nurturing arms, gazing down at him with nothing but pure hearted love. It was him and his baby versus the rest of the world and it didn't matter where they lived or who they lived with, nothing on this earth was a great enough force to tear him away from his light in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, as I promised, new chapter. I'm so sorry it's been so long but I went off writing this story and I was going to leave it unfinished but the gods of fanfiction must have seen me committing this sin and made me re-read my story and I was like "dang, I need to finish this!". So here I am, writing a crappy note and skipping out portions of Tony's life because I really want to get to the good bit which is when he grows up and becomes the Tony Stark and loads of banter happens but you're all going to have to wait a while before getting that so hold onto your hat, prepare for one hell of a story!
> 
> Lot of love, your author.


	6. Chapter 6

Tony thought his year of becoming a teen was going to be good. This wasn't Tony's year. This really wasn't Tony's year. The first thing that happened was that he crushed his door handle when getting up to go the bathroom. That really wasn't okay because not only could he not get out of his room, it meant he was a little more abnormal than before, predicting he would be an omega because he had all the characteristics. Then, due to the fact he was annoyed, hit the door too hard in his anger and smashed a hole through the middle.

His heart stopped.

He stood in front of his room door, eyes wide, mouth wide open. He heard a cry of fear, annoyance and feet running up the stairs. Gregory pushed open Tony's door and was surprised to see a shocked Tony standing there amongst the wreckage. Gregory stomped up to Tony and grabbed his wrists, inspecting his hands for damage.

“What have you done, boy?” Gregory yelled.

“I don't know! All I was trying to do was get out of my room and all I know, the door handle breaks off and I can't get into my room then I tried pushing the door and I broke it! I don't know how it happened!” Tony protested.

Howard ran into the room, pushed aside Gregory and gathered Tony into his arms.

“Antonio, bambino are you okay? I thought someone broke in!” Howard then began speaking rapidly in Italian and kissing Tony all over his face.

“Mamma, I'm fine! Quite worrying so much, I'm okay, no one broke in.” Tony insured his mother who was now tearing up.

Howard nodded and backed away slightly.

“What happened then? Why is your door broken?” Howard asked, unsure if he should be angry at Tony or concerned.

Tony teared up and started to franticly explain what had happened. Howard's eyes widened dramatically.

“Im going to talk to Antonio in private. Don't any of you dare follow me or there will be hell to pay.” Howard stated in a hard voice Tony had never heard his mother use before to the four people who had congregated at Tony's room door.

Howard took Tony's hand and trotted to the study at the end of the extremely long corridor. He opened the door, made sure no one was there then closed it.

“Alright, sit down and don't interrupt me until I finish, that would be great.”

“Am I in trouble?”

Howard sighed, “No, I'm going to tell you the truth about your father.”

Tony's eyes widened and he silently sat down on the plush office chair and Howard sat infront of him, a neutral, emotionless look on his face.

“Your father fought in the second world war when I was a young boy. He was apart of the howling commandos. No, he wasn't Captain America if that's what you're wondering but he was Cap's best friend, Bucky Barnes.”

Tony's eyes widened in shock, how did he not know this before?

“I loved Bucky as a child, I used to tell him how we'd be together and he'd just laugh and tell me I was too young for him. When he "died" near the end of the war, I was devastated but I was willing to leave him in the past as a wonderful memory and I was getting to grips with him being gone. About twelve years later, our old house was broken into. All the advanced security I'd personally put up was taken out and Jarvis was taken out also. I was young and inexperienced at things so I hid under my bed with a baseball bat and listened to the footsteps coming up to my door. My door was smashed open and I remember someone grabbing my foot and dragging me out from under my bed. I realised it was Bucky from the smell but he had no idea what was going on. After a months worth of hacking, I realised what had happened to him. He was going to kill me but I talked him out of It but he didn't just leave me alone. He did some terrible things to me then he knocked me out and left.”

Howard sighed and looked up at Tony who had horror written all over his face.

“What? Why didn't you tell me before?” Tony asked, voice wavering as his eyes welled up.

“Because I never knew thought that you needed to know!” Howard exclaimed, throwing his arms up in exasperation.

“Then why do I need to know now?” Tony cried, gripping the sides of his chair too tightly.

“Stop it! You'll break the chair!” Howard yelled, getting up and taking Tony's hands off the chair. “The reason you need to know is because you've apparently inherited your father's super soldier serum that was running through his blood. I didn't know they had managed to perfect the serum and put it in Bucky but they managed it and now you have it. You have super human strength and you need to learn how to control it.”

Tony wasn't having any of it. He stood up in a flash, narrowly missing Howard's face with his knee and accidentally flipping his chair over, causing a loud crash.

“You're telling me that my father was a rapist who forced you to have me and now I'm a constant reminder of what happened to you?” Tony screeched, tears pooling in his eyes, kicking the fallen chair in anger.

“TONY! Listen to me!” Howard shouted as he stood up to his full height, no longer consoling Tony's behaviour.

Tony stopped in his tracks, his mother had never called him Tony or shouted at him in such a way. He felt guilty and he backed down.

“You better pipe down, or your life is going to be hell. I'm not going to allow this behaviour, you may say that it's nothing much right now but if I let you continue, you're going to hurt yourself or me and I will not let that happen. Do you understand?” Howard said sternly but not harshly.

Tony took in a deep breath and nodded.

“Good boy, now pick your chair back up and sit on it without throwing a tantrum again.” Howard ordered, arms crossed over his chest.

Tony did as he was told solemnly and wiped away his tears.

“Now, let me tell you, you are not a burden to me, I love you more than words could explain and I will never stop loving you, no matter what happens. When I see you, I rarely think of what happened but when I do, I remember that out of something bad can come the most beautiful, perfect and wonderful thing and that is you. You're father was not a rapist, that thing that came into my room that night was only the shell of your father the real man who was your father was a wonderful man and I know if he was in there, he'd have never hurt me.”

Howard crouched down in front of his baby boy and tilted his head up so he could see him, eye to eye.

“Baby, I love you and I'm trying my hardest to let you know that. I need to protect you and sometimes that may even mean from yourself. I couldn't live with myself if I failed my job of being your parent and let you do that so that's why you have to learnt to gain self control. I know it's hard but I need you to do it, for me and you.”

Howard wiped away Tony's tears and stood once again, outstretching his hand to Tony.

“We'll start tomorrow but now you need to go to bed and rest.”

Howard and Tony walked hand in hand back to Tony's room where all the wood had already been cleaned up.

Tony lay down in his bed and Howard tucked him in and kisses him on his forehead.

“I'll see you in the morning, everything will be better when you wake up.”

Tony nodded his head and wiggled around to get comfortable.

“I love you,” Howard whispered.

“I love you too,” Tony whispered back.

...

Tony woke up the next morning, gently opened his room door and timidly walked down the stairs and in the direction of his mother's voice. Tony poked open the kitchen door and saw Howard standing with his fists clenched and Gregory frowning down at him. Howard was coldly staring up at Gregory who had a bright red mark on his face but if couldn't nearly compare to Howard's busted lip, bruised cheeks and cut temple. Tony stood there, angry at his mother's state. He was confused at the look of slight fear in Gregory's eyes and the fearlessness in Howard's. Howard heard Tony's light footsteps and turned to face his son.

“Tony, we're leaving.” Howard stated, no hint of his usual sarcasm or sass in his tone. Howard was stone cold angry and he wasn't buttering it up for anyone.

Howard swiftly turned on his heel, stormed past Tony, only giving him a click and a finger point as to where he was supposed to go. Tony shuffled forward to catch up with his mother only to be stopped by Gregory's angry shout.

“Get back here, you whore! You owe me all you fucking have! You have no right to walk on me!”

Howard wheeled on him.

“I have every Goddamned right to walk out on you! I owe you nothing! I have everything I had when I crawled into this hell hole and that is my boy and myself and now I'm leaving and taking everything I brought back with one extra thing and that's strength and I will never let anyone take that away from me again!” Howard growled, this time grabbing Tony's hand and dragging him along with him.

“Don't you dare walk out of those doors or I'll ruin your life! You belong to me!” Gregory screamed, slamming his fist down on the counter.

Howard clenched his teeth, tuned around, grabbed the closest glass he could find and hurled it with all his might at Gregory's chest. It made contact and sent glass everywhere as well as Gregory to the ground, crying out in pain.

“I belong to no one.”

Howard turned around one last time, taking his son's hand but this time, much more gently and leading him through the big mansion of dark memories and nightmares.

Once they got to the main road, away from the mansion, Tony dared to ask the question.

“Where will we go?”

Howard kept his eyes straightforward, stony and cold with only a glimmer of the Howard Tony knew.

“Anywhere away from here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, I know, I'm sorry but it's the best I can do right now in order to have rather frequent updates. Love you all lots, please comment on what you think should happen next! Bye!


	7. Chapter 7

Six months after Howard had taken Tony and walked out of Gregory's home, they had found themselves at a tiny but cosy cottage that Jarvis had previously lived in alone. Jarvis insisted that they come live with him and convinced Howard not to settle back into his old job that made him unhappy and depressed. Tony was temporarily sent to a public school where he was severely bullied but stayed silent on the matter because he didn't want his mother and Jarvis to worry when they already had so much on their plate. Howard spent most of five months down in the basement of Jarvis's cottage, working on something that would apparently give them a "big break".

Tony woke up with a terrible headache and back ache and he felt awfully moody. He really didn't want to go to school but he had to keep his attendance up or they'd file a complaint to his mother. Tony rolled out of bed, lethargically washed himself, got dressed then slumped down stairs to find Jarvis.

“Good morning, Tony, I-” Jarvis stopped what he was doing when he saw the state of Tony. The child had bags under his eyes his neck and face were a little swollen and red, his clothing was all rumpled as was his hair and that was strange because the boy usually took pride in his appearance.

“Oh dear, what's wrong?”

“I feel gross and sweaty.” Tony pouted and he dropped himself into one of the stools at the breakfast bar.

Jarvis tried to feel Tony's head for a high temperature but was gently batted away.

“I'm sorry but I can't take the feeling of anything on my skin.” Tony groaned.

Jarvis crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, not at all convinced, “How did you dress yourself if you apparently "can't take the feeling of anything on your skin"?”

“That was a battle in itself,” Tony replied, then laying himself out on the table.

Jarvis rolled his eyes, “At least you should eat your breakfast, it might make you feel better.”

Jarvis pushed a bowl of apple and cinnamon oatmeal towards Tony and surprisingly, to Jarvis and Tony himself, he scoffed it down and asked for seconds. When he was almost finished his second bowl of oatmeal, Howard showed up from the basement wearing goggles on his forehead, a dirty white tank top and tight jeans.

“Good morning, baby!” He exclaimed as he planted a big sloppy kiss on Tony's head, “Good morning, Eddie!”

“Good morning Howie,” Jarvis laughed as Howard pulled him into a big hug.

“How are my two favourite people doing this morning?” Howard asked as he washed his dirty hands in the kitchen sink.

“Tony said he's not feeling too good,” Jarvis replied before Tony leveled him with the dirtiest glare since mankind.

“What's wrong, Antonio?” Howard asked, concern evident on his face.

“Nothing, really,” Tony hissed, glaring at Jarvis who just shrugged, “I just have a headache and a backache,”

“He told me he felt gross and sweaty,” Jarvis muttered.

“Uncle Eddie!” Tony exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air disappointedly.

“Tony! Why are you going to school if you feel unwell?”

“I have triple mechanics today and it's the only day this week I have it!” Tony moaned.

“Tonio, you have triple mechanics next week,” Howard deadpanned.

“But it's on a Friday, mama!” Tony whined.

“Alright but if you feel worse, you need to get school to call so you can come back home.”

“Okay! I will, promise!” Tony exclaimed, clambering off his chair to go catch his bus.

  
.....

  
Tony had never felt so bad in his life. He only made it to the first hour of mechanics and he had the most painful stomach ache he had ever felt, his back was burning, his skin was tingling and itching, his neck and throat felt awful and swollen and the weirdest part was that his down below area hurt too. He felt like there was an unscratchable itch deep inside him which sounded really gross and when he moved, he leaked and it was starting to soak through his trousers. He felt a wave of  boiling hot heat pass through his body and when it happened, the itch got worse and his private parts got hard. He was getting weird looks from the other boys in his class and he was starting to feel like they knew what was going on. He raised his hand and asked to be excused to the bathroom. He ran down the corridor to the nearest bathroom then locked himself in the furthest cubicle from the door. He pulled down his trousers to see what the wetness was but all he found was a slippery substance coating his underwear and thighs. He used toilet paper to wipe up the slick that was dripping from him then he pulled up his trousers and left the cubicle to wash his sticky hands. Before he could sort himself out, the cubicle door that was directly behind him slammed open.

“You smell good, omega.” A boy sneered, slowly creeping out of a cubicle.

Tony turned around and looked at who was talking to him. He saw a tall, muscular boy with black hair creeping slowly towards him.

“E-excuse me?” Tony stuttered, backing away as the boy got closer.

“In fact, you smell _divine_ , I just...shit!” The boy backed Tony into the corner and started to sniff his neck.

The thirteen year old Tony cringed as this happened, trying to squeeze his way past the boy who had Tony pinned in a corner as he salivated over Tony's scent.

“Okay, I really have no idea what the hell is going on but I'm not comfortable with you doing this, I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to pin me down in a bathroom like this so if you could excuse me...”

The boy slammed his fist into the drywall beside Tony's head causing him to scream.

“You are not going ANYWHERE you tasty, pretty omega!” The boy shouted as he grabbed Tony around the throat.

Tony screamed again, kicked the boy in the dick then tried to sprint for the door but was dragged back by the desperate boy again. The boy forcefully grabbed Tony around his waist and Tony kicked and screamed, desperate to get out of the lustful teen's grip. The toilet door was slammed open and Tony and the forceful boy looked up, Tony's eyes full of terror and the boy's full of lust.

“Please help me! I don't know what's going on but he won't leave me alone!” Tony yelled at the new boy who looked rather shocked at the whole ordeal.

The new boy sniffed the air, his eyes glazed over then grinned sadistically at Tony.

“My, my, my, fresh blood right here for the taking, virgin omega,” the new boy with blonde hair walked right up to Tony and licked a long stripe up Tony's cheek, “it's hard to find that these days, all of you are whores.” The boy growled as he slapped Tony across the face at the whores part.

The boy ripped open Tony's button down shirt and opened his own pants.

“Bend him over the sinks and open him up really good, I want this to be quick, bell's gonna go soon.” 

“No!” Tony cried, using the last of his strength to get away from the boys and flee the bathroom.

He kicked and struggled with them on the floor and used his small size to slip past both of them and get out of the toilet. He ran and ran, looking behind him to see where the boys were when he slammed into a tall, solid figure. He looked up and literally broke down in tears of relief when he saw it was the principle. He then crumpled in on himself, crying out in pain when a ripping sensation travelled from his bottom up into his lower stomach the through his hips. He was leaking a lot more than he previously was and now his trouser crotch was soaking through.

“Help! T-they were trying to hurt me in the toilets!” Tony sobbed, looking franticly behind him as he saw the two boys slowly walking down the corridor.

“Let's get you home,” The principal soothed, taking Tony's hand and helping him up then taking him down to reception to contact his mother.

The principal got to reception and explained to them in hushed tones what was happening to Tony. They looked back at him, pity written over their faces. One of the receptionist called Howard while the other took Tony into a little room behind reception that was dark, cool and filled with comfy things.

“Sit in here, love, until you're mother comes to collect you,” The nice receptionist said softly, “Here's a cooling pack, keep that over your tummy, it'll help the cramps go away.”

“Thank you,” Tony whispered as he curled up on the sofa with his cooling pack.

Tony lost track of time daydreaming but before he knew it, Howard was bursting through the door and gathering Tony into his arms, speaking in rapid Italian in his ear.

 _ **“My bambino, I'm so sorry I didn't realise it was time! I should have known! I'm so sorry, sweetheart,”** _ Howard said in Italian, pulling back to see his son's face.

 _ **“But mama, I have no idea what's going on,”** _ Tony replied with tears in his eyes.

“Oh no, I never told you did I?” Howard gasped.

Tony shook his head.

“This isn't the place to tell you, bambino, when we get home, I'll tell you,” Howard said, standing then picking up his upset son, not acknowledging the wetness that was on the inside of his son's thighs.

“Thank you so much for your help,” Howard said to the receptionists as he left the room.

“No problem, my dear, we always look out for our own.” The nice receptionist said as Howard carried his sobbing child out of the school.

Howard placed Tony to stand beside the car then laid down some towels on the seat Tony's would sit on. He then placed Tony in the car and gave him blankets and a cold pack.

“Why do I have both?”

“Your temperature might fluctuate so right now, you feel extremely hot but in a few minutes, you may get cold again.”

Tony nodded and curled up in his seat and closed his eyes, trying to will away the itching and the pain. Tony must have fell asleep because when he woke up, Howard was carrying him back to the house, wrapped in blankets. He opened his eyes fully and instantly regretted it. The light hurt his eyes and caused his fading headache to come back, full force. Tony stuffed his face into Howard's shoulder and cried out weakly as a fiery pain laced through his private parts and when it fizzled out, an awful, deep-seated, strong itch took over. He kicked his legs, wriggled his bottom and accidentally ground himself into Howard's hip in an attempt to rid the itch.

“Hey, don't do that, it's not going to help at all,” Howard soothed, opening the front door and taking Tony inside.

“But it inches so bad! I can't take it anymore!” Tony sobbed loudly into Howard's shoulder.

“I know, darling, it's not really an itch it's your body telling you that you are ready for an alpha.” Howard explained as he laid Tony down on his bed.

“What?” Tony looked up at Howard in confusion.

“Let me get you a cold glass then I'll explain.” Howard closed the curtains and turned the room's air conditioning on.

After Howard returned from the kitchen, he got a bucket of cold water from the ensuite bathroom with a little rag and he told Tony everything he needed to know about going through his first heat. When he was finished, Tony's face crumpled up and he burst into violent sobs, shaking from the effort it was taking him to cry.

“I know, bambino, it's not ideal or comfort but it gives you children, eventually.” Howard said, kissing his distressed child's head

“But I don't want stupid children!” Tony cried.

“I didn't want children either but here I am,” Howard chuckled.

“But you didn't have a choice!” Tony whined loudly with tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I know, sweety, but I'm glad I had you, I can't imagine my life without you,” Howard softly replied.

“I don't want a baby now! I don't want it yet!”

“I know it's not fair, sweet pea, but that's just the way life is, you just have to learn how to deal with it.”

Tony nodded his head, finally understanding that sobbing about being an omega wouldn't get him anywhere. He closed his eyes and bore the pain, definitely not looking forward to the next one when the pain would get worse.

...

Months past and life was going nowhere for Tony. It was the same, day in, day out and he was starting to get used to his lethargic life of waking up, eating Jarvis's breakfast and getting on the bus, going to school, coming home on the bus, eating Howard's dinner, washing himself then going to sleep. The only thing that really had changed was that the alpha boys stopped bullying him and now they were leaning over him, chatting him up, slapping his ass and touching him in inappropriate places. The beta and omega children were either disgustingly sweet to him, practically throwing themselves at him to be his best friend as an, indirect way to get with the alphas who he was annoyingly popular with. Or they bitched about him, saying hat he was a disgusting slut for being an omega which didn't really make any sense. Now, he was an accidental popular kid who really didn't want to be popular and he had people throwing themselves at him, left, right and centre. He felt like he was losing his grip on reality and he hated every bit of it. He just wanted go back to being that kid no one saw.

Tony was awoken one faithful night by happy screaming and laughing. He heard Howard excitedly yelling something at Jarvis in rapid Italian and Jarvis was laughing, telling Howard to keep his noise level down because Tony was asleep. He heard Howard laughing and crying at the same time, causing Tony to creep out of his room to find out what the hell was going on.

“I can't believe I finally did it! I'm so happy, I never thought I'd ever get it back, Eddie! I'm so fucking happy! I can't wait till Tonio finds out, he'll be so proud and now he'll have all he wants and he can be happy again and...OH MY GOD!” Howard was jumping up and down in glee once again then hugging an laughing Jarvis then falling to the the floor in a flood of tears.

“I'm so proud, Howie, I'm so proud that you really did it, after all everyone said, you managed to pull it off.” Jarvis laughed through his own tears as he rocked a sobbing Howard in his arms.

“I know, J, I really can't believe it, I feel like I'm dreaming,” Howard said softly into Jarvis's shoulder.

“Tony will be so proud,”

Howard picked up his head again that was surprising plastered with a great big wet smile.

“He'll finally getting to leave that school, just like he always wanted,” He planted a big wet kiss on Jarvis's cheek, “Everything is going to change, Eddie! We can have a happy life, finally, after all the battles and the strife and barely holding on to what we have, we can finally have a life worth living.”

Jarvis wiped away Howard's tears and kissed his forehead, “You earned it, Howie, you deserve all the happiness you get from this life. You've been strong for so long and you've fought to keep Tony safe. You've been through the wringer and I'm not sure how you've come out in one piece, I certainly couldn't have made it but you did because, no matter what anyone says or does, you will always come out on top because you are a fighter.”

“I could have never done any of this without you, Eddie, I would have never built up the strength to raise Tony into such a wonderful boy, I would have never been able to set a good example for him to be a strong young omega in this awful world. Without you, I would have never done this! I would have never thought I was capable but you opened my eyes to the possibility of making this work. Eddie, without you, don't think I'd be here.”

Jarvis pulled Howard back into his chest, letting the tears roll down his face as he stroked Howard's hair.

“You were always strong enough, my dear, I just had to show you that you were.”

Tony backed away and went back to his bed, tears of happiness rolling down his own face, he was proud of his mother and he didn't even know what he'd done yet but he was so proud that he pulled through, after all he'd been through. He'd battled with abuse for years at the hand of Gregory, he waited on hand and foot for his three horrible children, he'd gone through miscarriages and abortions because Gregory didn't want any more children and even after all that, he still made time for Tony and treated him with unspeakable kindness and unconditional love, even when he was being difficult and selfish. Tony could have never asked for a better mother and though he was not planned, he had never felt so wanted by anyone else and he never would.

Tony heard his door open and the light footsteps of his mother walking towards his bed. The bed dipped and he felt a soft, cool hand smooth over his face.

“I love you, I love you more than anything this world has to offer. I love you with all my heart and soul. My sweet baby boy, my beautiful miracle.”

Tony rolled over and threw himself into Howard's arms, burying his face into Howard's chest.

“I love you more, mama.” Tony whispered back.

Howard chuckled wetly and laid back with Tony still on his chest. He wrapped his arms around his baby and rocked him softly, humming an old Italian lullaby until the both fell asleep.  
Tony woke up the next morning still wrapped in his mother's arms. Golden days of sunlight shone through curtains and onto Howard's face. Tony poked Howard's cheek in order to wake him up. Golden brown eyes opened to meet sunlight at and the beautiful crystal blue eyes of his son. He smiled lovingly at him and reached out to stroke his cheek.

“Good morning, darling, get washed and I'll make you breakfast.”

“Doesn't Uncle Eddie make breakfast?”

“Yeah but I'll give him a break this morning, after all, he deserves it,”

Tony hopped out of bed and rushed to get ready and go downstairs. He threw a pair of jeans, a white T-shirt and a varsity football team jacket he'd gotten from a desperate alpha (no, he was not giving it back) then ran down stairs to find a pile of steaming pancakes, smothered in maple syrup and chocolate chips. He kissed Howard's cheek in thanks then savoured ever bite of the pancakes. He said goodbye to Jarvis then he and Howard jumped into Howard's convertible and tore off to the school. Howard excitedly pointed out The billboard that had him on it. It was magnificent. He was standing tall and proud, arms crossed in authority, chin up. Beside him were the bold words, **Stark Industries, Better Living Starts Now**. Tony turned to Howard, mouth hanging wide open in shock.

“I got back SI, baby! Life's about to get a whole lot better.”

Tony smiled, threw his hands up in the air and let out a big whoop.

Maybe life would finally be what he always wanted!

Maybe he was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after 100 years, I have finally made another update. You have every right to kill me. I am a lazy bitch so I make no promises as to when the next chapter will be up. Love you all, comment if you'd rather see Tony's present life or what happened after the regain of SI.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is essential for the growth of any human being. Though change can be positive, it also can have devastating effects on yourself and those you love. Though you might want change, doesn't mean that those closest to you want the same.

Years rolled by and life was good for Tony and Howard. The company picked up steam, the stocks were high, Tony was making a name for himself as the Stark Industries child prodigy, he got into MIT by the time he was fifteen and he was exceptional in all his classes.

He was seventeen now and everything was still going strong with the company but home life wasn't so great. They had gotten their old mansion back and they were living in comfort and Jarvis always came to visit but Howard was changing. Outwardly, he was a strong, fearless leader for Stark Industries, in private, he was still lovely, sweet and caring but Tony could see through his façade. When there were unexpected noises or loud sounds, Howard would flinch or slightly curl into himself. When someone raised their voice he'd become a little submissive and bow his head, shoulders hunched as if that would please them. The problem started shortly after Tony turned sixteen and Howard brought home a new alpha named Otto Wells. The man seemed nice enough on the surface but Tony could see that this was no gentleman. At first, he was too good to be true, always treating Howard to romantic date and splashing cash on expensive presents for Howard and Tony. He was so loving and had all the time in the world for Howard but Howard didn't have all the time in the world for him. This made Otto angry because he would yell at Howard for never taking time off for anything and never never repaying his kindness. He often made comments like this and when it was all over, he'd go back to Howard, spouting how sorry he was and how he was jealous of how dedicated and strong Howard was. Howard would tell him that if he was really sorry, he'd stop making the same mistake over and over again but as always, Otto had an argument. He'd tell Howard that he was trying and that he wasn't perfect and how Howard needed to give him time to become a better person, get off his case and try and fix his own flaws. Howard would always forgive him and go back to him, giving him even more love that he didn't deserve. Tony hated that character trait of Howard, even though loved his mother unconditionally, that character traits boiled his soul because he knew that was how Howard would get hurt the most. When an alpha showed him the smallest amount of affection, he'd give them back his heart and they'd rip it to shreds. Tony was afraid of what might happen to Howard after this relationship ended because he knew Howard's heart was already damaged but could he still go on if it was destroyed? What was worse was that Howard loved Otto and the last alpha Howard had loved came in the night and raped him, leaving him broken, afraid and pregnant with a baby he never intended to have.

Now Howard would hang onto Otto's every word and live to please him. He'd beat himself up if he made Otto upset and strive to prove that he was a good omega. Now that Otto had control over Howard after getting Howard suck up to him, he was trying his hardest to get there with Tony but Tony wasn't a broken soul like him mother and he had never tasted the true hardships of life. He saw what had happened to his mother and he guarded his heart with a suit of armour. He was not going to be manipulated, ever.

Tony was home for the summer and he was getting ready for road trip of a lifetime with some other friends from MIT. He stumbled down the stairs, sleepy, starving and rearing to go on his trip, just not externally. He needed his morning coffee before he could take on such excitement. He was relatively happy until he ran into Otto who was drinking his morning coffee.

“Good morning, Antonio. I trust you slept well?”

Tony literally growled at him, “Don't fucking call me that, how many times have I told you? Do you ever listen to anything I have to say?” Tony spat, grabbing the coffee pot from Otto viciously.

Otto didn't even bother looking surprised at the outburst, he was used to them by now, “I apologies for that, I thought you liked that name because your mother always calls you Antonio,”

“Yes, the key word was mother, you are not my mother or my father so you will not call me Antonio! Stop trying to suck up to me, it's not working and it will never work, now piss off out of my space!” Tony hissed, throwing the coffee out and making more. God knows what that man did to the coffee.

“Alright, I was only trying to be nice,”

“Well stop trying.”

Tony glared the man down.

Otto raised is hands in defeat and drank his coffee in silence. Tony made himself some toast and held himself back from telling Otto to leave the kitchen entirely. He just finished buttering his toast when Howard made and entrance, wearing nothing but one of Otto's shirts that looked like a short dress on him. He laid his eyes on Tony and his face lit up, a vision of happiness and love.

“Good morning, baby!” Howard sung, walking over to his son when,

“Honey,” Otto said a little strained, as if it were an order rather than an endearment.

Howard's gaze hit the floor and he shuffled backwards, away from Tony and walked over to Otto, looking up at him shyly through his lashes like he was begging forgiveness. It seemed as if he got what he wanted when Otto bent to kiss him after intently staring at him for a while. Tony looked on at the whole exchange with horror, wondering when Howard got so submissive. Otto looked over at Tony and grinned darkly at his expression. Tony growled and viciously bit Ito his toast, not taking his eyes off Otto. Howard turned back to Tony with a frown.

“Antonio, how many times have I told you not to growl? You're not a dog and it is exceptionally rude.” Howard softly chastised, making his way back to Tony.

Tony's expression softened and he smiled apologetically at his mother.

“Sorry, it's just that some people in this house have a way of winding me up beyond belief,” Tony replied, throwing a quick glare at Otto when he said some people.

“Darling, I know you two don't get along but can you just tolerate him for my sake? He does have feelings too you know,” Howard said with a chuckle.

“Well, maybe you could tell him he needs to stop kissing my ass and sucking up to me because it makes me sick. I'd tell him myself bet he never listens to a fucking-” Howard flicked his ear for swearing, “ow, sorry, he never listens to a darn thing I say.”

Howard rolled his eyes fondly and bent slightly to kiss his sons head.

“I'll talk to him my vertically challenged aggressive kitten, but I can't make any promises,”

“Hey! I'm not vertically challenged or aggressive!”

“My dear, you are barely five foot and you have a hot enough glare to destroy the sun.”

“I'm five foot-four actually and I can't argue with you on the second part.”

Tony's gaze settled on Howard's collar bone and he saw three angry looking bruises where his shirt collar had slipped down.

“Mama, what is that?” Tony asked, anger starting to burn up inside him once again.

“What- Oh God! Those are um...nothing...finish your toast Antonio!” Howard snapped as he yanked up his shirt collar to cover the bruises.

Tony was a little startled at the anger in Howard's voice but brushed it off as embarrassment. He looked over to Otto who had been watching the whole exchange with a sower look on is face. He stormed over to him and thrust a finger in his face.

“I swear to God, if you're hurting him I will fucking kill you! I will rip your dick off, feed it to you then slit your throat and watch you die.” Tony yelled then stormed out of the kitchen.

He faintly registered Howard calling him but he didn't turn back. When he got to his room, he furiously packed his back that he'd be road tripping with, violently pulled on his white long sleeved shirt with red trim and his oversized dungarees and stormed out of the house, plonking himself on the side walk when he got out of his front gates (he was certainly not pouting, how dare you). He heard the sound of bare feet running down the pathway that led out of their home he saw Howard slow to a walk from the corner of his eye and sit down next to him.

“Why are you letting him hurt you?” Tony asked, still fuming.

“I'm not, It's something else but I'm not here to talk about that.” Howard tilted Tony's head to face him, “You need to control your anger. I get that you don't like Otto but you're being horrible to him and he is a person, just like you and he likes to be treated with kindness. I love him Tony so can you just do this one thing for me? You know I'd do anything at the drop of a hat for you but can I just have this one? Can I just keep something I really want for once in my life? I don't get something this good normally and I'd like to keep it this way.”

Tony looked away and pulled his knees up to his chest.

“He's so controlling mama, I don't know how you don't see it! He guilt trips you into doing thing then he sucks up to you afterwards to pretend he's sorry! I know you don't see it but he's poisonous and one day he's gonna hurt you really bad and I don't want to sit back and just let it happen when I know I could have prevented it.”

Howard looked away, sighing heavily.

“Well I guess this is something we don't agree about something after all.” Howard broke eye contact with Tony and stared straight ahead, brunet waves softly blowing in the wind. “I'll be fine Tony. Stop being so overprotective. I'm fine and I'm happy and I want to make the most out of this moment while I can so please, don't spoil it for me.”

Tony felt tears welling in his eyes. He ran his hands through his messy waves and took in deep breaths.

“Okay, I'll leave it. I'll stop being so horrible and I'll try to be nice to him, but only for you, just so you can be happy. I still hate him though and I honestly will end him if he ever hurts you.”

Howard wrapped an arm around Tony, pulled him into a side hug and hissed the side of his head.

“Thank you, bambino,”

Tony turned his head to look at Howard and Howard looked back. Howard had crows feet now. How had Tony not noticed that? His mother was forty two, when had that happened? He also had a single grey strand of hair on his hairline. Tony reached up to touch it, not believing his mother could be getting grey hairs. It was like it was only yesterday when a young, twenty eight year old Howard was chasing him around the very mansion they were sitting in front. Howard smiled, the crows feet and the laugh lines stood out more now, as he kissed Tony's nose.

Howard studied his only child's face, resisting the urge to cry when he realised how old his baby was. Tony had no trace of his babyish looks any more. His jaw was angled and and his cheekbones chiseled. He was a gorgeous boy though, with his cute button nose and freckles that were dusted across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. His most prominent and outstanding feature was his eyes. It was a little strange for a boy who had dark hair and tanned skin to have such bright contrasting blue eyes. He was a sight to behold by any standard.

“I love you, mama,” Tony whispered as he tucked his head under Howard's chin and wrapped his arms around him.

“I love you too, baby,”

Tony's ride turned into their street, horn blaring and music thumping, probably pissing off every person in the neighbourhood.

Tony looked up and rolled his eyes fondly, “That's my ride,”

Tony stood up and helped Howard up after, “See you in three weeks!”

“Stay safe and don't get into any trouble, I don't want to hear that you got arrested for being drunk and disorderly.” Howard said with a chuckle, dusting off Otto's shirt.

“We both know I can't get drunk,” Tony said fondly as he picked up his bag.

“Who knows what will happen when you drink the club dry?”

“I'm way too sweet for that!” Tony pecked Howard on the cheek and scampered off to the van that was full of loud teens. A tall, handsome boy climbed out of the driver's side and helped Tony put his bags in the trunk. He walked Tony to the front passenger side, his hand on the small of Tony's back the whole time. Tony looked back to Howard then ran back to him, throwing himself into his arms once more.

“I love you sooooo much!” Tony exclaimed as he laid multiple kisses onto Howard's cheeks.

Howard laughed and spun Tony around with the momentum of his son running into him. “I love you much much more!”

Tony broke away, still beaming, “Piss Otto off for me and if he hurts you, call me or hurt him back, your choice,”

“I'm not pissing Otto off and he's not going to hurt me but I sure as hell will call you,” Howard twisted Tony around by the shoulders then shoved him in the direction of the van, “Go before your friends get annoyed.”

Tony ran back to the van and got in. He hopped into his seat and buckled up. The van did a 360 turn at the end of the road then drove past Howard again. Tony stuck his head out of the open window and yelled, “Missing you already!”

“Get your head back into that car you silly boy!”

Tony laughed and settled back into his seat.

Howard watched as his little boy, now all grown up drove away. This was the first time ever that he'd be away from his son for an extended period of time where his son was not being watched over by responsible paid adults and though he kept up a mask of happiness for his son, he wasn't sure how long he could keep his emotions in check. He honestly missed him already and he wanted his precious baby back in his arms, safe and sound where no one could harm him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you all probably hate me for leaving the update so late or you probably forgot this fic existed.
> 
> I am so sorry for not posting but I simply lost interest in the Avengers until I rewatched cacw and almost jumped into my TV to strangle Steve fucking Rogers who is a selfish son of a bitch. Any how, I started to dig through my unfinished notes and found this beauty and thought, "why not read the fanfic that I abandoned like ten years ago?" So I did and now I feel terrible for not updating because I left the story on such an awkward place and now I've decided to justify it. 
> 
> Don't hold me to this but I will try to update this more frequently mainly because I know how it feels when you're reading a fanfiction and suddenly it just stops and the author is like "I'll update soon!" and in reality the last update was in fucking 2013 or something.
> 
> Right, I'll stop rambling and all that because you probably didn't read any of this and I also need to go to sleep because it's like 11 and I have school tomorrow. I hope you enjoyed and hopefully I'll upload soon... Yep, bye!


	9. Chapter 9

Tony watched as his mother became smaller and smaller as the car drove away. He finally looked away from the rear view mirror and took in a deep breath, letting it hiss out between his teeth slowly. He was startled back into reality when Rhodey touched his shoulder in comfort. He looked up at his handsome friend, as he offered him a gentle smile.

 

“He'll be fine, Tones, you'll see.” Rhodey promised him.

 

Tony sighed but offered him a soft smile, “I hope so,”

 

Tony decided to shake off his worry and concentrate on his friends and the journey ahead of them. He couldn't help but feel like this was a horrible idea and he should have stayed at home with his mother.

 

...

 

The first stop they made was at a lonely diner in the middle of nowhere. The friends scrambled out of the van noisily and rushed to the diner, all desperate to fill their hungry stomachs. José swept Tony up bridal style, causing Tony to squeak and lightly slap at his chest. The group sat down around the table, kicking up a ruckus in the ordinarily quiet, calm diner. José forcefully sat Tony on his lap and rubbed his hard crotch up against his ass, muttering degrading and sexist things into Tony's ear while attempting to shove his hand down the opening in Tony's dungarees to fondle him in highly inappropriate ways while Tony quietly asked him to stop doing such things in public as it wasn't appropriate. Tony attempted to physically remove José hand only to receive an exceptionally hard, aggressive bite to the shoulder.

 

“You better stop fighting me in public or I'll make you sorry later.” José growled while biting Tony's ear.

 

Tony dug his fingernails into José's thigh with a subtle but bone chilling growl. “We'll see about that.”

 

The other omega, Chloe, had her legs wide open, straddling an alpha (Greg) who's lap she was sitting on. Greg had both his hands planted on her ass, kneading and feeling her up as if they were the only people in the diner, as if there were not children, staring, downright confused at the display of untasteful behaviour. Three of the other four alphas were palming themselves through their jeans or leather pants in Archie's case, wolf whistling and shouting disgusting remarks about the two omegas. Rhodey just sat there, very uncomfortably while trying to not keep eye contact with Tony who looked as if he was five seconds away from homicide.

 

“I'm gonna,” Rhodey started, running a hand awkwardly over his face, “I'm gonna go order a soda or something, yep.”

 

He started to get to his feet when José stopped him.

 

“Hey, where you goin' bro? Too pussy to sit with us? You embarrassed or sommin'?” José asked aggressively while he shoved Tony off his lap and started to square up.

 

Tony tumbled to the floor with a cry and everything in the diner fell dead silent. Even the other three alpha's cringed and Chloe clambered off Greg's lap, getting ready to start swinging at the asshole who dared hurt her fellow omega.

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” Rhodey yelled as he scooped Tony up off the floor.

 

“Oi! Don't touch my things!” José yelled as he grabbed Tony roughly by the wrist, jerking him towards his body but Tony stood fast, refusing to be tossed around by some aggressive alpha that wasn't even his.

 

“What are you doing? Why do feel the need to show off? I'm not yours or your play thing, José, you need to treat me with respect! What the hell has gotten into you? Stop being an absolute dickhead just because we're in public!” Tony said firmly.

 

He didn't see the backhand to his face until it was too late, sending him stumbling back into an unexpecting Rhodey.

 

“Don't you-” José as silenced by a fist to the nose and there was no one to catch him.

 

“You dare lay a hand on me ever again, they'll never find your fucking body.” Tony muttered coldly.

 

The tiny brunette turned on his heal, grabbing Rhodey by the wrist and leaving the stunned diner without a second glance. Rhodey only just managed to hear Chloe say, "Why do you have to be such a cunt, huh?" followed by Archie yelling and cursing at him for treating Tony so badly. Tony continued dragging Rhodey out of diner into the carpark to the van then vigorously let go of his hand and started angrily pacing around the van, running his hands through his hair.

 

“I cannot believe the fucking nerve! How dare he fucking touch me! I swear to God I will fucking kill him, I'll ring his fat neck, I'll drive over him with his shitty van until he...” Tony continued swearing and shouting then he grabbed the biggest rock he could then launched it into the van window.

 

Rhodey let out a cry of horror and tried to negotiate with the smaller teen to try and get him to soothe his anger but Tony wasn't having any of it. He started kicking at the wing mirrors with his heavy purple Doc Martins until the glass smashed and the whole mirror was only hanging on by a single thread of plastic. He took his boot to the side of the van also, booting it until had a crater sized dent in the side. He was about to unleash his fury further but was stopped by Rhodey's strong arms wrapping around his waist and lifting him away from the van. Tony heard himself screaming in fury and kicking at Rhodey to put him down. Rhodey turned him away from the van and just as he was about to open his mouth, Tony was flying through the air for a split second then bodily slammed into the side of the van. A pained cry left his throat as it was grabbed by the strong hand of José who was so angry he probably couldn't see straight.

 

“You fucking dumb whore! You fucking smashed my car!” José backhanded Tony and Tony felt blood fly, “You'll pay for it! I swear to Christ you'll pay for it or I'll beat you pretty little face in!”

 

José took another swing but Tony dodged it and slammed a knee into his crotch. José fell to the floor gagging in pain but saw the booted foot of Tony and grabbed it, pulling him harshly to the ground. The two teens scrapped in the dirt, ignoring the tugs from their friends and pleads for them to stop fighting. The continued till José landed a foot in Tony's stomach causing him to scream in pain. There was a large enough gap for a large burley man from the diner to rush in and swipe Tony up from the floor while his friend dragged José up roughly by his forearm.

 

Tony felt himself being sat on the front of the dented van and told to sit up straight and breath. He felt as if all his organs had been squeeze until they were nothing but a bloody pulp mixed around in his body. He felt the soft hands of Rhodey on his face and his firm commanding voice telling him to breathe but Tony felt like even that simple task was beyond him.

 

“Come on, little one, you need to breathe, I know it hurts but you need to breathe.” The burley man said softly as he stroked Tony's back.

 

Tony tried to breathe in but only managed to throw up the little he had in his stomach. He took in a horribly painful gasp of air with a cry. He felt tears rolling down his face as he kept on trying to breath but he just wanted to give up because it hurt so much. His breath hitched and Tony began to curl in on himself again.

 

“No, come on, lemon drop, you can do it, you'll be fine.” Rhodey reassured, “I know it really hurts but it will fade in a minute.”

 

Tony tried to make a sassy joke about how a minute had passed and it still hurt like a motherfucker but all that came out was a weak cough that ratted his organs even more causing him to start sobbing in pain.

 

“Oh, Tony, you'll be alright in a second, just breath with me and it will be fine. I remember when I was playing dodge ball and I was standing right on the line, waiting for a close up shot and someone pegged me first. It hurt like a bitch and I thought I was going to die but I gave it ten minutes of slow breathing and I was fine! Okay, I wasn't that fine, I had bruises for weeks but that's beside the point. What I'm telling you to do is breath deeply. It hurts but it's worth it. Come on, in... Out...” Chloe's ordered in a soothing voice.

 

Tony obeyed and soon, he could breath again. His whole abdomen hurt but it wasn't as bad as it was before. Tony looked up at José who's eyes were full of regret now that the fury drained away. The burley man who'd saved him from getting his face beaten in by José had his arm wrapped around him in a comforting embrace. All his friends were either staring at him in sympathy or glaring at José in anger. Tony couldn't take being stared at like an ant under a microscope so he shifted the view.

 

“I'm fine now, let's go.” Tony stated bluntly.

 

.....

 

Tony didn't remember much from the party. It was mostly José begging for his forgiveness the whole drive to the club, Tony ignoring him and chatting animatedly to a hesitant Rhodey, Chloe trying to be discreet while Greg fucked her in the back seat but they were not fooling anyone.

 

He remembers everything clearly up until he was at the bar, second drink in and everything started going fuzzy. He didn't see José drop a fizzing tablet into his drink. He didn't realise he was drinking it down. Rhodey never noticed it either, he was too busy trying to impress a girl who wasn't interested in gentlemen like him. Tony didn't remember José wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him onto the dance floor. He didn't remember José grinding into his ass and him letting José use him for something he'd never agree to if he was fully conscious. He didn't remember the heat sensation the pill gave him. He didn't remember rubbing himself up on José to try and neutralise the need to be breeded. He definitely didn't remember begging José to fuck him right there on the dance for because why would he do that normally? He had standards. He didn't remember being taken upstairs in the shitty club rooms and thrown down on a bed. He didn't remember José ripping his clothes off. He didn't remember José pushing into him and him crying in pain as his virginity was ripped away harshly. He didn't remember crying for José to stop. He didn't remember José ignoring him. He didn't remember anything. All he knew the next day was that he woke up in a bed with José with a dull ache inside him and he thought it was a drunken mistake. He thought he willingly participated and he was so disappointed with himself. He was angry at José for taking advantage although he guessed José was drunk and regretfully too.

 

It was better that he didn't remember.

 

.......

 

Tony finally pulled up in front of his home after three week which felt like years. He climbed out of the car lethargically and grabbed his stuff. José jumped out of the car and rushed over to Tony to try and help him remove his belongings from the car. Tony shook him off with a vicious glare.

 

“Don't fucking touch me, José, you lost the right.”

 

“Tony, my sweet, let me help you, let me show you I care.”

 

Tony's threw his head back and laughed a vicious humourless laugh.

 

“You really think that I'd come crawling back after every you've done? I have STANDARDS! There is nothing you can say or do to get me back.”

 

Tony flung his bag over his shoulder and stomped back down the path to his childhood home, finally ending the train wreck of a trip he'd had. He would never, for love nor money, revisit that road trip.

 

Tony threw open the doors and called out for his mother, only to receive silence as his reply. He dropped his bags at the front door and wondered further into the dark house that looked as if it had been unoccupied for the last three months. He walked through the kitchen, shocked and slightly alarmed that there was a sink full of old, dirty dishes.

 

“Mom? Otto? I'm home!” Tony shouted as he walked up the stairs.

 

All he was greeted by was deathly silence.

 

Tony opened his room door, walked over to his bed and collapsed onto the sheets. He looked over to his left bedside table to find a note written in his mother's beautiful handwriting.

 

/Hi darling

If you're reading this, you must have gotten home earlier than we did! Otto decided to treat me to a long weekend away in Miami and we won't be back until Sunday. I hope you're doing well and that your trip was everything you hoped for and more. I love you more than life itself.

Lots of love, Mummy./

 

Tony snorted a little at the end of the note, knowing that Howard was taking the piss when he signed the letter as "mummy" as he hated when Tony called him that. He put down the card then stripped himself down to his underwear before going into the bathroom to brush his teeth quickly so he could go to bed feeling a little more refreshed. He climbed under the sheets, letting himself drift into a comfortable sleep knowing his mother was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for the rushed really short chapter. Writing out a long period for the holiday was really boring so I decided to just compile the worst bits and make Tony come home early because I really wanted to move on. Hope you enjoyed, please leave suggestions as to what should happen next because I'm a bit lost with this story and need all the help I can get. Sorry I don't upload very often, I don't have that much time and my head is swimming with much better story ideas that actually have a plan.
> 
> Lots of love, Janelle


	10. Chapter 10

Howard ran a hand over his stomach, a intense feeling of déjà vu washed over him. The circumstances were a lot better this time though. He was in a stable relationship although it wasn't what he really wanted, he had been consensually taken this time, without force, trauma or pain and he was older and more mature than he was the first time. He looked out the window, out to the thunder and rain. Something beautiful came out of storms. Out of something terrifying and strong came beauty and grace. A soft smile etched it's way onto Howard's face as he felt a soft fluttering inside him.

 

“I hope you have my eyes. I would want you to have the same eye's as Antonio but he had a different daddy than you. I'll settle for my eyes then. I don't want you to have your father's black eyes, they're quite intimidating. I'll love you either way though, no matter what you look like I'll love you with all my heart.”

 

It was horrible weather, contrasting with what Howard felt inside.

 

 

....

 

 

“Mama, I think it would be better if I went with you, you're so... pregnant and sometimes bad could happen! What if you give birth in the road? What if you-” Tony was cut off by Howard's soft cool hand against his mouth.

 

 

“My darling, I'll be completely fine, nothing will happen to me! The baby isn't due until June and that's _months_ away-”

 

 

“Two months, mother,”

 

 

“Whatever, Antonio! Gosh, someone would think it's you who's pregnant with all this fuss! You need to calm yourself before you lay an egg. Besides, you can look after SI for me while I'm away.” Howard said softly as he planted a soft kiss onto his eldest's head.

 

 

“I guess...” Tony muttered uncertainly, burrowing into his mother's warmth, seeking comfort.

 

 

“I love you, Antonio, remember that.”

 

 

Tony gulped, his chest filling with dread for some reason, “I know, mama, I love you too.” He whispered.

 

 

“I'll see you in a week,” 

 

 

“Yeah, a week.” Tony softly replied, his eyes filling with tears.

 

 

Howard left, closing the passenger door of Otto's Range Rover. The car pulled out of the long driveway and soon disappeared behind the line of trees that shielded the mansion from street view. Tony let the tears fall. Howard left many times on holidays and business trips, it would all be fine, Tony was just being silly. Then why was his chest filling with dread and anxiety? 

 

 

Why did this feel like the last goodbye?

 

 

 

 

...

 

 

 

 

Tony woke up on top of the covers of his large bed, shivering and cold. He felt dread wash over him like an icy waterfall and he just knew something was wrong. He got out of bed and wrapped himself in in a warm fluffy bathrobe and descended to the living room where he heard the soft murmur of the TV. The rounded the corner, surprised to see Jarvis standing in his living room but his heart sunk and he heard the soft sobs leaving his mouth and the shaking of his shoulders. Tony walked up to Jarvis, about to ask him what the matter was when he heard one of the reporters utter the words "tragic car crash". Tony turned his head ever so slowly to the TV and he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces.

 

 

_**BREAKING NEWS** _

_**Howard Stark and Otto Wells killed in Car Crash.** _

__

__

Tony felt his world crash around him. Everything went silent and all he could hear was high pitched humming. The face of his beautiful mother flashed before his eyes. He would never feel those arms around him again. Never see that beautiful smile, never feel the soft hands stroking his face with love. Never hear the sweet sound of an Italian lullaby. He was just gone, just like that without a warning, without a heads up. The last thing he remembers was falling asleep in Howard's arms, kisses dropped lovingly onto his hair.

 

 

Was life really worth living now that his mother, all he had and loved in life, was gone? His little sister couldn't have made it, could she? Howard had been heavily pregnant with little Jelena and before she had even left the womb she had been taken away.

 

 

Tony should have burst into tears like Jarvis, should have felt some form of sorrow,  _anything,_ but he didn't. He felt nothing but emptiness. Coldness washed over him like a wave. It sort of felt like a dream. It couldn't be happening. It couldn't. There was no way. This was just a horrible nightmare and Tony would wake up to the smell of blueberry pancakes and the warm arms of his mother reassuring him this  _wasn't real._

 

 

“Tony,” Jarvis started.

 

 

“No.”

 

 

“Tony, just-” 

 

 

“No!” Tony tore away from the boney hands of his mother's life long friend.

 

 

“Tony, wait!”

 

 

Tony didn't realize that he'd run away from Jarvis until the slamming of his own door pulled him back into reality. He slid down the door, arms wrapped around his body as he tried to get his breathing under control. 

 

 

This was _not_ happening _._

This was  _ **not**_ happening.

 

 

_**This**_   _ **was not happening.**_

__

__

Was it?

 

 

 

...

 

 

The hospital was such an awful place. The smell of disinfectant, the smell of medicine, the smell of fear, sadness and  _death._ The hospital just had this ominous presence about it, like there was no escape and no light at the end of the tunnel. Nothing at all could save you from the inevitable jaws of death and the hospital was the grand entrance to your fate. 

 

Tony felt numb. Absolutely hollow and numb. He still refused to believe that his mother who had been there his  _entire life_ wasgone. It simply was not possible. Even as he stood in front of a cold metal plate with the bloodied and bruised body of his mother he  _refused_ to believe any of this was real because if it was, there was no way in hell he could continue to live without him. Howard was his backbone, his soul, his  _life._ Without him the sun would never shine again, the entire world would collapse around him and he'd have no reason to live any longer. This really could not be real otherwise it was over, everything would be done.

 

 

“Mr Stark, Mr Jarvis, we have news concerning the foetus late Mr Stark was carrying.”

 

 

The blood stopped rushing through Tony's ears as he looked up through his curly bangs.  _His sister was alive?_

“What seems to be the matter, Doctor?” Jarvis asked, sounding a lot more old and warn out than he usually did.

 

 

“Well, Mr Stark managed to give birth to the child before he passed away. This was due to the extensive trauma he went through prior but the child was successful birthed. However, the child is far from healthy as it was only carried for six full month's and two weeks. It is not completely impossible but it is highly unlikely that the child will survive.”

 

 

“This does not mean you're giving up on her? She can survive, I'm sure she can, she just needs to be taken care of, right? She will be fine, she's a Stark, Starks are made of iron. I swear if you give up on her,”

 

 

“Mr Stark, we are trying our hardest-”

 

 

“So your hardest is letting my barer fucking slip through your damn fingers and-” Tony felt the blood rush to his face, “This is all you're fault, you are the reason, if you weren't so  _fucking incompetent_ he'd still-”

 

 

Tony drew back, swallowing his anger. Howard wasn't dead, he was still here. He must believe that otherwise it would all fall apart. He would self destruct. He needed to be strong, to stay and be the fundamental point in her life.

 

 

“Just make sure my sister survives. I'm going for some air.” Tony abruptly stood, the backs of his knees hitting the chair roughly, causing a skin crawling scrape to echo around the empty waiting room.

 

 

Tony rushed out of the hospital as fast as he could. Everything was crushing him, he just needed to leave. He made it out of the reception doors and fumbled with shaking hands for a pack of cigarettes, desperate for some relief, something to soothe his fraying nerves. Everything was starting to feel more and more real and he was fast approaching his breaking point. He took out a cigarette and a lighter then took in a smoke filled breath, letting the feeling calm him down. Smoking for him was rather pointless. The chemicals in them that usually worked on other normal people never helped him because of the serum in his blood canceled everything out. On the plus side, he'd not die from smoking as the serum combatted everything that entered his system. Tony ran a hand through his messy curly hair and tugged a little while letting out a big puff of smoke.

 

 

His heightened hearing picked up the soft sound of Jarvis' feet on the hospital floor before he even opened the door.

 

 

“That's not good for you, you know that, right?” Jarvis said softly as he drew close to Tony who stubbed out the cigarette and fanned the air Infront of his face.

 

 

“You and me both know that it won't do shit to me.” Tony grunted in reply as he blew out the last of the smoke that remained.

 

 

“I'm not talking about that, honey, I'm talking about the holding everything in, the self blame I feel creeping on, the whole "I can't do this" thing.”

 

 

“But I can't do this! My mother just left me with a baby that I have no idea how to cater for! I can't even look after myself, I'll probably give it asthma from forgetting not to smoke around it, I'll fuck it up so back it will have post traumatic stress disorder from its childhood! I can't do this, Eddie! I can't do this alone!” Tony cried as he raked his fingers through his hair in panic.

 

 

“My dear, you will never be alone,” Jarvis said softly as he took both Tony's hands gently from his hair. “You have me, don't you? I practically helped raise you alongside your mother so I have a lot of experience in the area. My dear, you just need to breathe, this will be hard but you will succeed.”

 

 

Tony let out a breath and let himself be gathered into Jarvis' arms, desperately trying to hold back the tears.

 

 

“Okay,” Tony whispered.

 

 

“That's my lad now let us go back inside and see that sister of yours.”

 

 

....

 

 

After a few hours of waiting, they were informed that the baby girl was in a stable condition but had to be kept in an incubation chamber as she was two months premature. The first time Tony was allowed to hold her was a month later when they were told she was now healthy and developing just the way she should. It was a miracle, a pure, nature defying miracle but the little baby was now just as strong and healthy as a baby carried to full term, maybe even more so. Tony was not one to look the gift horse in the mouth so he just accepted that the baby was a lucky star.

 

 

As he held her in his arms for the first time, he felt something inside him break. Her warm little body curled neatly against his chest, tiny red hands grasping for purchase of his jumper that he lifted from his mother's wardrobe. He felt a tear well in his eyes as her soft baby smell wafted from the pink and yellow blanket she was wrapped in.

 

 

She slowly blinked open her eyes and the air was knocked from Tony's chest as his own watery blue eyes locked onto hers. Golden brown they were, like the reflection of the sun in a teaspoon of honey in the early morning. Beautifully unique, just as Howard's were. Soft and full of love and they were _home_. His home that he'd lost but now he had a new one. He watched, helpless as a sob ripped itself from his throat and the tears  _finally_ fell down, after a month of holding them in, a month of refusing the truth and now he was free. He let go and all the pain and suffering and sorrow that came with losing your first love flowed out of him.

 

 

He held the baby girl to his chest, placing little kissed upon her soft, bald head. They may have lost their home but Tony decided he'd build them a new one. He'd do Howard proud and keep them both safe. It was just him and Jelena now, him and his baby sister.

 

 

As the sun fell behind the horizon, the shadow that watched on disappeared into the incoming night. His work was done, they were his mission now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has ever read this. I really appreciate the wonderful comments and feedback and kudos on this shambles of a fic and I love you all. 
> 
> Sadly, I think I might end it here as I lack the time and inspiration to finish this. I may or may not come back to it in the future if I feel the drive to but for now this is the end. 
> 
> If you, however, want to help finish this fic, you can get in touch with me through my email janellelawrence12@gmail.com and I'll see what we can do. 
> 
> Thanks for all you love, support and encouragement since the very beginning! 
> 
> Lots of love, Janelle


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